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Posts by Gil

joined

17 posts in 9 threads

Advice & help please!!! by

Thanks for the replies guys much appreciated! He try’s limits the drink a few bottles then soon as weekend comes around it’s bottles vodka or gin! Posted another thread this evening I’m so upset, feel unwanted , unloved and just fed lies and treated with no respect. I have empty apologies and then it happens all over again. I’ve now stopped the chasing to as that was making unwell. The ignoring gaslighting it’s mental torture no matter how much of a mess your in. You don’t treat others like that! I question is he acutuallg ever going to change. I thought as he had a lot on previously it was driving him to due to stress. But I think there is far greater issues mentally and physiologically with addiction. As he sees it he doesn’t do it every day. And says people do it frequently at weekends. As almost to justify his binges cycle every 3 weeks. I’ve tried stepping back and the longest we’ve spent a part is a week and just don’t know what to do. We’ve planned so much in this year and some plans have already been broken. Just feel like I see a glimpse that he wants a straight happy family life and then next he’d rather hide himself away binges and then hit repeat apologies and making things up and then bang cycle repeats.

Boyfriend with cocaine addiction by

Hey so I’ve been constantly in this cycle. And I’ve decided enough is enough!! He’s vile and on a downward spiral out of control! So I’m stepping back I’ve given all I can! Hadn’t seen him since Wednesday I’ve had a few messages but they’re just vile nonsense! Last night he was quiet then about 10pm tried to pick a row over message to engage in convo. I know he’s been on it just by the way his messages. He’s a different person jackal and Hyde! 4am I woke up to two missed calls me being me worried called him back he was just silent on the phone I tried talking to him for 8mins asking where he was was he ok. Nothing then he hung up. Obvs mind does overtime called and called him till 5am. So I called to the house called the bell then remembered I had spare keys. Found him in bed he was alive so I left. Then vile messages have started again how dare i break in?! It’s time I start thinking and caring about ME! He’s in a vicious cycle and he has no remorse, no apology he’s been like this constantly for over a week! What I’m saying it’s super hard and I hear you! But if he’s not going to change then you can’t help guide your wasting your breath! Also it’s impacting your health anxiety and depression. No one should make you or I feel like that. It’s not healthy. Standing back last night I’ve noticed I’ve isolated myself because of the situation. And that’s not good either. I’ve always lived life and crazy thrown anyone who stopped that to the side! BUT this person has a hold on my heart that no one has before and it’s hard. So I know how you feel but it’ll strip you of your self esteem.

Husband addicted to cocaine by

Hi lexi, I really feel for you. I’m too in a similar position. Although I’m not married we don’t have kids we have a few between us. I’ve noticed an escalation in use in my partner who’s done this for years. However makes me think he’s was doing far more but his it better than he does now. They become selfless and selfish for it. I’ve read so much on addiction and they say it’s a diease and that they can’t stop once craving kicks in. Doesn’t matter about how much they love you or the kids everything else becomes irrelevant. I find that difficult to swollow. I think the hardest part is getting them to see there is a problem. Then suggesting help....im still at the problem phase. I get all excuses it’s not an issue I can take or leave it. I can control it.... it’s all lies, I’ve wanted to believe but it’s not true. It’s not daily use, co not co dependant but it’s now exalted weekly (especially on the weekends). Makes me sad as plans get missed, and the eventual come down, he turns to a lot of alcohol and moody vile kicks in. It’s aconstant cycle. Yours seems early so try to nip it in the bud maybe have a chat with him recognise it’s heavily affecting your family. See what he says. Suggest help avenues....

by

1 of 9 posts

Alcoholic BF behaviour is this abusive? by

I’m so confused about my BF behaviour he’s like jackle and Hyde through the night, one minute he’s kind and sharing lovely stories the next he finds my family, work or friends at fault and batters me with nasty words about them. He can be so cruel sometimes, he’ll say things like about we should go on a nice holiday, get married etc. Then literally two mins later he’s vile saying he’s so close to finishing the relationship and walking away something to do with my family actions which doesn’t impact him or involve him at all. He withholds affection, he tells me not to talk to him. Then when I leave the room or go to bed he finds me and makes a comment or name calls and walks out. He’s not violent but he has a vile temper! Which shoots 0-60 in seconds. Screams in my face. When he’s sober he says I should pay no attention to what he says when he’s drunk.....but he can be so vile that it’s hard not to. Is this just Alcoholic behaviour or is this abuse? Welcome any comments on copying strategies

by Hox

1 of 4 posts

Addiction cocaine and alcohol by

I’m looking for answers or comfort really... been with my partner over a year. He claims he mental health issues from long term drug abuse since his twenties. However he’s unpredictable he makes plans breaks them, recently things seem to have escalated and I think he’s doing more than he was, or maybe he was and was good at hiding it. He drinks excessively bottle vodka a night! He says he has it under control but I beg to differ. His mood swings after are awful, he self pity he doesn’t apologise for his behaviour or the things he’s says or his actions, he dissapears and ignores me sometimes hours or even a hole day. The latest incident he dissapears yesterday I he said he had a busy day, but I know he wasn’t working not sure where he was but he wasn’t in work. But he insists he was. Now the lying had begun. He drank a bottle of vodka and stayed away last night. What honestly do I do? I’ve tried to help, be empathetic but he shuts me out and withholds emotion from me almost like punishment