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Posts by Harl

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24 posts in 4 threads

Feeling a bit lost after breakup with cocaine addicted boyfriend... by

Him moving his friend in isn’t good move, I’m assuming his friend uses as well? There is going to come a point where he will want to get clean and he will remove this friend from his life and could reach out to you to support him, it’s either that or do it in his own. What I’ve learnt through this in a very small space of time is something triggers a addict to want to change. I think in my partners life it was realisation he has a two year old son and also me, even though we are going through this I believe that he knew we could have a good life, that I was a good woman and that he needs to change his lifestyle. That’s the way I see myself anyway, and through his past words I know he loved me and thought a lot of me. Don’t blame yourself for being too harsh I did that too. The last time he used I was on my way to meet him the following day. I told him that it was normal for him to do that every week and was a little quiet with him over dinner. That weekend I saw him he said he felt distant from me and that weekend was the start of his sobriety. I asked myself whether I shouldn’t have said anything and let him be, but then that’s accepting what he was doing and I didn’t want him to do that because I love him so much. It was fortunate that at that time it was his eureka moment too, but sadly was the last time I got any emotion from him. Again what I’ve read through forums as it’s the only thing that helps me cope and not take it personally is that space is what they need if they are trying to get clean. I guess in your situation your boyfriend isn’t at that point yet? When the time is right and he’s in a better place, if you really want that relationship to work then you need to have that conversation with him and give him an ultimatum. If he chooses drugs then this is the life you’ll have being back and forth with his choice of drugs and you, and drugs will always win x

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