Feel helpless by Daisy12Your post is so very true and so similar to my experience. The self pity is something I hear a lot. He also sends lots of voice messages and my daughter says don't read them if he's been in a angry tirade but I always listen because I think he may do something even worse if I don't listen . He says I don't lovery him I love my daughter more and my other son more. It sounds so childish but in his head he believes it . He thinks we have turned against him . The jelousy is very real he's jelous of his siblings and I think somewhere inside he's jelous of the life we had before the drugs and drink took over. It makes me feel useless as nothing I try to do has ever helped . I moved in with him last year he said if I did he would give it up . But he continued using and when I saw him actually using denied it and called me a liar. I can't talk to anyone really. I'm embarrassed to tell people I make excuses for his absences. And have been left mortified on many occasions his behaviour is so erratic he can go from laughing to flipping out in minutes. I've had some really embarrassing situations over the years. I know there's worse things with the addiction to worry about than that but I find that after all these years his addiction still makes me feel ashamed . It's a horrible drug isn't it . I still have hope he will want to recover from this . We have to have hope.