Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Hopelesscharlie

joined

1 posts in 1 threads

Cocaine addiction is ruining my life by

I started taking cocaine at a pretty young age, probably around 16 - 17. At first it was just a party drug, I would never take it unless I was actually going out, wether it be to a party or to town etc. It was never really a problem back then, but fast forward 10 years and I'm now 28 years old, taking cocaine on an almost daily basis. I lie to everybody around me, including myself. Sometimes when I'm on my way to get coke I try to stop myself but the cravings always win, its like there are 2 of me, One who wants to do whats right and one who is fully consumed by the drug, my addiction always manages to find an excuse that convinces me its acceptable or that I have A valid reason to use. Last night was the tipping point, I had what I beleive was a minor heart attack, I have experienced palpatations from cocaine more times than I care to remember. This was something else entirely, the worst thing was I was sat on my own in my living room, girlfriend in bed upstairs none the wiser, and my addiction almost didnt let me ask for help for fear of being discovered. After half an hour of absolute terror, convinced I was about to meet my end, experiencing multiple symptoms of a heart attack (old sweats, shallow breathing, light headed, pain in chest and shoulder) I found the courage to wake her, I have never felt so worthless in all my life, seeing the look of pure fear on her face and knowing it was self inflicted will stay with me for a long time. The ambulance arrived not long after and the paramedics ran an ECG. They where satisfied I was no longer having any form of heart attack but asked me to go to AE to have my bloods done as my results where showing some form of irregularity, they said it was possible I had experienced a minor attack but I would need to go to AE to find out, but as it was no longer an emergency situation they said it was my decision. I didn't go to AE as it was 4am and I had work at 8, they made me sign some sort of waiver to say I was refusing to go and then they left. I thought that would be the end of my addiction, surely it should of been, but here I am, the very next night, powder on table. If that wasnt enough to stop me what is it going to take ?

We use optional analytics cookies to help us improve our site by collecting and reporting anonymous information on how you use it.