Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Hox

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228 posts in 94 threads

Cocaine addiction where’s it come from by

My 'husband' was the same. Just a social thing once, twice a year max. I'm probably exaggerating at that. I didn't notice a change in him when he did cocaine infrequently. Then came the stress of a court case. Upped the drinking and upped the sniffing. Cocaine changed his mind set. He found no pleasure in anything that he once had. I didn't realise until it was too late. My 'husband' now doesn't love me any more. He doesn't mix with the folk we used to. He has ruined his successful business with not going regularly and is now detained at HMP. I am now going to lose the house and everything we have both worked hard for. If only I had known what I know now.

Lapsed again on coke :( by

Hi DNAnon, it's great to hear from you. I am so glad that your son is doing well. 'Husband' is inside residing at hmp and I am now having to deal with his mistakes. It looks like I could lose everything I have worked for all these years. He has still got his head firmly stuck in the sand but at least he cannot get hold of the dreaded stuff. (Well I hope he can't as what I have heard is nothing can not be gotten for a hefty price in there) Anger seems to be getting me through at the moment. I have my wobbles but I am soldiering on. Wishing you and your family all the best.

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10 of 69 posts

Alcohol help, controlling ? by

Don't doubt yourself. My sister is an alcoholic and has said this before about her husband controlling her. Like you say, it's when you say you are leaving if the drinking doesn't stop. That's what they mean as control. It isn't of course. My sister was abusive and violent to her husband and myself over many years. There was always an excuse to drink. Even though to a normal person there is no excuse to drink, you don't have to justify it like an alcoholic does. Well to cut a long story short, my brother in law had had enough abuse and violence and he made her leave the family home. She lost everything just because she wanted to drink. After losing everything I forced her to go to AA. She went and realised she was an alcoholic. She goes to meetings every week, has had a couple of relapses but on the whole she feels much better now. She has her life back, but AA has been the answer for her. Other organisations tried to help but were useless and that is coming from me. I wish you both the very best.

broken but strong by

Carly876 looks like you are doing the right thing by your children so that it doesn't affect them any more than it is doing so now. Heartbreaking for you though not having your husband by your side. It looks like the death of your husbands mum affected him more than he let on. Even though you took the weight off his shoulders, his friend probably offered him an escape through heroin. I too tried to take some of the weight off my husbands shoulders when something happened in his life. But it didn't work and he turned to alcohol and cocaine to take his mind off everything. He didn't go to work and when I look back I enabled him by paying the bills and coping on the little amounts he gave me. I am now trying to keep afloat with the household bills and the debt he has left me in with his credit card and with his failing business because he is now detained at hmp. He is your husband and you can't detach, none of us can. But you are doing the right thing. Look after yourself in all this and hopefully your husband will return when he comes to his senses needing your help to finally get off the stuff. Keep strong. I wish you well.

What’s next? by

My 'husband' was the same. 'Husband' only sniffed when he was with family that partake or with his friends that he too said are like family. But they are only 'coke friends/family' not normal, real friends. My husband had a real life before he was introduced to these people. You sound so much like him, like he couldn't not be with these people. You have to separate yourself from these friends if you want to stop. You can still have a social life without them as you said you can drink when you are abroad on holiday. It is a difficult choice, your health or your life with your friends. I've seen it, I have been there. I wish you well.

Husband cocaine addict by

I am in the same position as are many of us on here. This is a condensed version of my story on here. Happily married to my soul mate for fourteen years. He occasionally sniffed cocaine, a few times a year recreationally at a push. Then came his court case which eventually he couldn't cope with. So he went out and got drunk and was on the coke regularly. By this I mean three times a week. This changed him into a person I don't recognise anymore, a monster. He didn't think he had a problem. Then again he didn't, I did with his sniffing. 'Husband' is now in prison. I've now found out he had not been going to work and had taken every penny out of his business account and had debt with credit cards. Looks like he has upped the sniffing or rubbing to daily. I have been waiting for my lovely husband to return for eleven months now but cocaine changes a person. It has also changed me and I don't partake. I'm still suffering anxiety and I feel sick every morning when waking. I have constant panic attacks. Nothing will change until he realises he has a problem and wants to do something about it. No amount of begging or talking to him will make a difference, don't waste your breath. Until he does, try to take care of yourself. Take care of your business without him and split your finances. It's not being horrible it's being careful. When he comes to his senses you will still have a roof over your heads and a business. I wish you both well.

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