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Posts by Hox

joined

158 posts in 62 threads

New to this devastation. My son and cocaine by

Lime18, I don't think you are a misery at all. I can understand your devastation, I feel the same. Thinking of them every minute of every day. You eventually fall asleep thinking of them (husband) you wake up numerous times in the night thinking of them, then you wake in the morning thinking of them, feeling sick. There is no peace with this addiction. I can fully understand and I know I will not feel real happiness again either. I'm worn out too.

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1 of 75 posts

Husband left. by

Thanks Laura. It is too raw to deal with but he doesn't understand this. He now all of a sudden wants a divorce before his court case in four weeks, I've refused as I'm not ready. I don't know where he is staying. Last time he went for about a week, he slept in his van and then went to his nephews. There lies the problem. His nephew deals cocaine and grows cannabis. There is a group in another town that I could go to, I might be able to manage it. (Anxiety) I do thank everyone for their support on here.

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4 of 8 posts

I feel frustrated..... by

You need to look after yourself. It's not easy giving it up and it will be a long haul. But he really has to want to stop and not lie to you just to keep a roof over his head whilst you are providing his creature comforts. You work hard and you can't risk your job constantly worrying about him. I'm the same I constantly worry at work, luckily I have an understanding boss and have worked there a long time. Looking back now I have picked up my husband after his all night drinking and coke sessions. This is at the weekend though when I don't work but it's still the same I have run around after him.

I don’t understand by

Good that you have stopped being angry, it does us and them no good. I'm glad your husband is benefiting going to CA. Husband hasn't moved out yet. I'm constantly on edge. I'm anxious when he comes home and the same when he's out. I dread coming home from work and he's here but worry when he's out till the early hours. There is no escape from these feelings, I have no peace. I talk to a few close friends but they don't know everything. I find it better revealing my feelings on here where people do understand. I'm embarrassed and feel humiliated by his actions toward me. You take care.

2 of 9 posts

Isolated alone and feeling very emotional by

You have worries on both sides your son and your husbands op. It isn't your fault, cocaine addiction can be hidden by lies until the personality changes. My husband is the same, cocaine and alcohol. I'm the only person who has suffered in all of this, the devoted wife and the closest to him. He has ruined our happy life and has admitted it fully and has said I am not to blame. He won't admit he has a coke addiction though. Luckily we have no debt (up till now) You are not alone and I'm so glad you have a husband that is there to support just you. I can understand him not getting involved as he has to get his operation done and dusted so that he can be there fully for you. Keep strong for both of your loved ones.

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1 of 5 posts

Heartbroken by

Does sound like cocaine with dealers involved. Problem is we cannot help our loved ones until they admit their addiction. It's a tough one for us waiting anxiously on the sidelines, trying to be supportive but not trying to tell them what to do and what not to. My husband is the same, says he can do what he wants. Moving house wouldn't solve the drug problem I'm afraid, you can get drugs anywhere. My eyes are wide open nowadays. I'm also waiting for that knock on the door. Keep yourself well you are not alone.

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1 of 6 posts

How is everyones partner/fam members doing? by

I feel for you. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Can you bear to do a text saying you will always be there for him when he's ready and leave him to it? It will be hard, but what you are doing now is hard on you too. You are making yourself ill and whilst he is on the coke he's not thinking of anyone else's wellbeing. It's a cruel way to treat people, but thats what coke does to you. He probably feels like you are harassing him all the time, we know this isn't true as this is what we do when we care for our loved ones and want whats best for them. At the moment he feels like what he's doing is best for him. It seems like your life is on hold until he comes to his senses. Keep strong we are with you.

5 of 33 posts