Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Hox

joined

271 posts in 107 threads

Sick of it by

My sister is an alcoholic. She was drinking every day and had a violent temper. After years of physical and mental abuse her husband had had enough. He was mentally drained. He told her to leave. She lost her husband, her son, her home, pets, in fact her whole life . This was the turning point. After me forcing her to go to AA she realised she is in fact an alcoholic. After abstaining she has realised she can function perfectly without a drink inside her, feels much better in herself and doesn't lash out verbally and physically anymore. She has now got back to her family. Without her husband doing this she would have carried on and he would not have had her back. She has had a couple of relapses but still seems to be doing well. AA Meetings are the key to her succeeding, she knows this and if she misses one she relapses. Her husband doesn't enable her by buying her drinks though. She used to sneak out, buy it and hide it. Her son didn't think his mum drinking was ok. He hated seeing his mum in a state and causing arguments and fighting. You need to start looking after yourself.

by CMxx

1 of 6 posts

Ex partners a coke addict by

You have done a hell of a lot for your ex and he has caused you pain, heartache and depression, which you have had to seek help for. We know they are not the loving person they used to be and would love them to return, say it's been a big mistake, they miss us, they love us and have given up the cocaine for good. We live in hope, but like you say he has to do it quick before its too late. You deserve respect and you are not receiving it. Look after yourself physically and mentally because if he does return it will be to a better, stronger you.

by CJJ93

4 of 18 posts

Cocaine by

This forum has been my rock in my deepest, darkest days I can tell you. I didn't know where to turn. There is no real emotion in my 'husband' like you say they don't 'feel' anymore. It's like they have become an alien being. No amount of talking helped, he just didn't register my feelings in all of this, only his own. He became selfish for the first time in our lives together. It's not a mid life crisis is it. It's a 'cocaine crisis' and our lives will never be the same again. It has been an awful twelve months.

by lc100

2 of 11 posts

Cocaine addiction where’s it come from by

My 'husband' was the same. Just a social thing once, twice a year max. I'm probably exaggerating at that. I didn't notice a change in him when he did cocaine infrequently. Then came the stress of a court case. Upped the drinking and upped the sniffing. Cocaine changed his mind set. He found no pleasure in anything that he once had. I didn't realise until it was too late. My 'husband' now doesn't love me any more. He doesn't mix with the folk we used to. He has ruined his successful business with not going regularly and is now detained at HMP. I am now going to lose the house and everything we have both worked hard for. If only I had known what I know now.

Lapsed again on coke :( by

Hi DNAnon, it's great to hear from you. I am so glad that your son is doing well. 'Husband' is inside residing at hmp and I am now having to deal with his mistakes. It looks like I could lose everything I have worked for all these years. He has still got his head firmly stuck in the sand but at least he cannot get hold of the dreaded stuff. (Well I hope he can't as what I have heard is nothing can not be gotten for a hefty price in there) Anger seems to be getting me through at the moment. I have my wobbles but I am soldiering on. Wishing you and your family all the best.

by

10 of 69 posts

Alcohol help, controlling ? by

Don't doubt yourself. My sister is an alcoholic and has said this before about her husband controlling her. Like you say, it's when you say you are leaving if the drinking doesn't stop. That's what they mean as control. It isn't of course. My sister was abusive and violent to her husband and myself over many years. There was always an excuse to drink. Even though to a normal person there is no excuse to drink, you don't have to justify it like an alcoholic does. Well to cut a long story short, my brother in law had had enough abuse and violence and he made her leave the family home. She lost everything just because she wanted to drink. After losing everything I forced her to go to AA. She went and realised she was an alcoholic. She goes to meetings every week, has had a couple of relapses but on the whole she feels much better now. She has her life back, but AA has been the answer for her. Other organisations tried to help but were useless and that is coming from me. I wish you both the very best.

broken but strong by

Carly876 looks like you are doing the right thing by your children so that it doesn't affect them any more than it is doing so now. Heartbreaking for you though not having your husband by your side. It looks like the death of your husbands mum affected him more than he let on. Even though you took the weight off his shoulders, his friend probably offered him an escape through heroin. I too tried to take some of the weight off my husbands shoulders when something happened in his life. But it didn't work and he turned to alcohol and cocaine to take his mind off everything. He didn't go to work and when I look back I enabled him by paying the bills and coping on the little amounts he gave me. I am now trying to keep afloat with the household bills and the debt he has left me in with his credit card and with his failing business because he is now detained at hmp. He is your husband and you can't detach, none of us can. But you are doing the right thing. Look after yourself in all this and hopefully your husband will return when he comes to his senses needing your help to finally get off the stuff. Keep strong. I wish you well.