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Talk about your experiences with others.
joined 12 January 2019
228 posts in 94 threads
It's worth a try Dan. It worked on me.
My sister is an alcoholic. She used to tell me that her husband was abusive and controlling and thats why she would drink. I now know that it was the other way round since she started her antics with me. She is manipulative, controlling and abusive when under the influence. Luckily for us she now goes to AA and a drink hasn't passed her lips for weeks now. We live in hope and it has been a tough time for us.
I wish you well.
My 'husband' used to do the same thing.
When out with me he would have a couple of drinks and drive us home safely. When out with his mates he would drive home blathered and coked up. It was very worrying at the time and he would say he felt fine. He got away with it though, the police never caught him even though the places he frequented where heavily policed.
My sister is an alcoholic. She used to drink all day, every day. Like I would drink cups of tea.
If she decided to top up the eighteen cans with whisky or worse raki that's where the trouble would start. She was pure evil with her tongue the things she would say were so hurtful. This was to me, my other sister and her own husband. She would turn on friends too. Afterward she would have no recollection of what she had said or done and would be mortified when confronted. I have mental and physical scars.
If your other half binge drinks on occasion this could be sorted if she loves you and doesn't want to hurt you just by cutting down, so the episodes don't happen. Easily said though. She can only do this herself no one can help if she doesn't want or feel the need of it.
You are not misreading the situation and you are not being unreasonable. You want the best for your wife and boy.
My sister (k) has always had a problem with drink. Hiding bottles and drinking whisky out of a cup. She was always drunk, abusive and violent toward her husband and myself.
To cut it short her husband had had enough. Told her to leave the marital home and her son. Having nothing left she turned it round with help from my sister (l) and myself. Got her to an AA meeting and she immediately knew she was an alcoholic, not someone with a drink problem but an alcoholic. She goes to one meeting a week now and gets support from there. It is working. She is back at home now and so far it is looking good.
I'm glad your mum understands Danman and supports you. You are right it's not hard giving support, when you love someone you want to do all you can. I'm sorry that your gf can't do this for you for whatever reason. It cannot be easy to abstain otherwise no one would be addicted in the first place.
Thanks for the advise on the key trigger, knowledge is good.
Don't be lonely Dawne, there are plenty of us on here that are affected one way or another by coke. Hopefully today has been your start to recovery.
I'm sorry about the loss of your son and daughter it's truly heartbreaking. Looks like you both need some bereavement counselling, losing another son would be devastating. Please tell him how you are feeling. I wish you both well.
A lesson has been learnt and it will make you wiser. It's not starting again it's a journey. GF's bound to be mad but she knows the temptations are out there only too well. Onward and upward Danman.
Mikey, keep logged on here.
If talking isn't your thing write on here how you are feeling. I'm hoping that you are feeling a little better after your stint in hospital.
You need to keep keep away from temptations and it's hard but that includes friends and family that partake in cocaine and alcohol if thats the trigger.
Danman does have a lot of advise, he's been there.