Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Hox


158 posts in 62 threads

Wife at a loss.... by

You are not alone. There are plenty of us with the same problem. I see the same pattern with my husband, late nights and not wanting to do anything with me. Christmas day was spent being ignored and humiliated in front of people who work for him. Then Christmas night he went out to a friends house where there is plenty of drink and coke. He then spends the day after ill in bed with 'flu' etc. The thing is I can't do anything about it, he says he doesn't have an addiction. It is hard to get off coke even if your husband admits to taking it. I also worry like you about him dying. When he's out, I think he could be involved in an accident. When he gets home, he locks himself away and tries to sleep it off I hear him gasping for breath and coughing uncontrollably. When they are on the coke they do not care about anyone or anything else. They can completely change in personality and only feel emotion when they want to or if they have to. We can only help when they ask for it and let them know we will be there for them . I felt alone too until I found endless support on here.

1 of 2 posts

Is it me or a genuine problem by

We have retaliated on numerous occasions, I suppose its because we are sisters. She says that she loves us and wouldn't let anyone else hurt us but she can. With the excessive drinking she has aged visibly. She looks older than me and I am twelve years her senior. She hasn't attempted to call us so hopefully she is still being cut down. Otherwise she will crash and burn alone. I might seem heartless but I do have problems in my own life so I have to put her on the backburner now and let others take control. You are definitely not alone.

2 of 6 posts

Struggling by

It is hard to extract ourselves from the situation and I can't run away either. I try not to get annoyed nowadays or at least try not to show it. My husband doesn't manipulate like yours does though as the love is not there anymore for control. I'm the same I wish he would disappear off the face of the earth. Yesterday I had a phone call at work from husband, he was talking about my mums financial issues and saying how he would always support her. (She has dementia) He was also talking about my siblings and their other halves taking advantage of us. As he was going to work he would talk to me about it later. I was really moved by this and quite emotional as he was talking to me like my soul mate, my loving, supportive husband who could talk to me about anything and everything ........wait for it, he didn't get in till after I had gone to bed and he didn't wake me up, so we didn't have that conversation. I try to accept now that at the time he is probably concerned or wants to do something. But later he has forgotten all about it. This is for my sanity. Like you it hurts me so much, you are not alone.


6 of 58 posts

Here again by

I'm sorry that I have offended you. I genuinely get emotional about how it has affected us and don't wish it on anyone. My husband and I, were I thought rock solid. It wasn't an issue for me that he took coke it really wasn't. Recreational use was never a problem. Cash is no issue. I feel that when something came along that caused great stress (the court case) that the coke took hold in a way I cannot explain. The use of coke would not have been a problem I think, if the stressful situation hadn't come along.