Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Hox

joined

240 posts in 97 threads

I feel frustrated..... by

You need to look after yourself. It's not easy giving it up and it will be a long haul. But he really has to want to stop and not lie to you just to keep a roof over his head whilst you are providing his creature comforts. You work hard and you can't risk your job constantly worrying about him. I'm the same I constantly worry at work, luckily I have an understanding boss and have worked there a long time. Looking back now I have picked up my husband after his all night drinking and coke sessions. This is at the weekend though when I don't work but it's still the same I have run around after him.

I don’t understand by

Good that you have stopped being angry, it does us and them no good. I'm glad your husband is benefiting going to CA. Husband hasn't moved out yet. I'm constantly on edge. I'm anxious when he comes home and the same when he's out. I dread coming home from work and he's here but worry when he's out till the early hours. There is no escape from these feelings, I have no peace. I talk to a few close friends but they don't know everything. I find it better revealing my feelings on here where people do understand. I'm embarrassed and feel humiliated by his actions toward me. You take care.

2 of 9 posts

Isolated alone and feeling very emotional by

You have worries on both sides your son and your husbands op. It isn't your fault, cocaine addiction can be hidden by lies until the personality changes. My husband is the same, cocaine and alcohol. I'm the only person who has suffered in all of this, the devoted wife and the closest to him. He has ruined our happy life and has admitted it fully and has said I am not to blame. He won't admit he has a coke addiction though. Luckily we have no debt (up till now) You are not alone and I'm so glad you have a husband that is there to support just you. I can understand him not getting involved as he has to get his operation done and dusted so that he can be there fully for you. Keep strong for both of your loved ones.

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1 of 5 posts

Heartbroken by

Does sound like cocaine with dealers involved. Problem is we cannot help our loved ones until they admit their addiction. It's a tough one for us waiting anxiously on the sidelines, trying to be supportive but not trying to tell them what to do and what not to. My husband is the same, says he can do what he wants. Moving house wouldn't solve the drug problem I'm afraid, you can get drugs anywhere. My eyes are wide open nowadays. I'm also waiting for that knock on the door. Keep yourself well you are not alone.

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1 of 6 posts

How is everyones partner/fam members doing? by

I feel for you. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Can you bear to do a text saying you will always be there for him when he's ready and leave him to it? It will be hard, but what you are doing now is hard on you too. You are making yourself ill and whilst he is on the coke he's not thinking of anyone else's wellbeing. It's a cruel way to treat people, but thats what coke does to you. He probably feels like you are harassing him all the time, we know this isn't true as this is what we do when we care for our loved ones and want whats best for them. At the moment he feels like what he's doing is best for him. It seems like your life is on hold until he comes to his senses. Keep strong we are with you.

5 of 33 posts

Wife at a loss.... by

You are not alone. There are plenty of us with the same problem. I see the same pattern with my husband, late nights and not wanting to do anything with me. Christmas day was spent being ignored and humiliated in front of people who work for him. Then Christmas night he went out to a friends house where there is plenty of drink and coke. He then spends the day after ill in bed with 'flu' etc. The thing is I can't do anything about it, he says he doesn't have an addiction. It is hard to get off coke even if your husband admits to taking it. I also worry like you about him dying. When he's out, I think he could be involved in an accident. When he gets home, he locks himself away and tries to sleep it off I hear him gasping for breath and coughing uncontrollably. When they are on the coke they do not care about anyone or anything else. They can completely change in personality and only feel emotion when they want to or if they have to. We can only help when they ask for it and let them know we will be there for them . I felt alone too until I found endless support on here.

1 of 2 posts