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Posts by Hox


267 posts in 105 threads

Addiction cocaine and alcohol by

I have been there myself. Loving husband abusing alcohol and taking cocaine. Disappearing. The come downs when he returns, the physical symptoms. They can be good at hiding their addictions and will lie and manipulate. There is no comfort for us until your partner acknowledges he has a problem and seeks help. Only he can do this. Emotions will not come into it, the coke sees to that I'm afraid and my heart goes out to you. I hope he sees the light soon before its too late. All you can do is be there for him when he needs you so look after yourself and be strong.

by Trainer28

1 of 5 posts

Long-term alcoholic husband by

Too hasty a decision on his part. I hope you can work this out together I really do. Going to counselling and meetings together is a good idea and I hope he feels this too. Hopefully my sister and her husband could do this eventually when she proves herself sober and the anger has subsided. You have given me something I can put to her to give her more motivation and look forward to a future back with her family.

I feel so alone by

You are not alone Lil. I have been in the same position. Does your husband realise he has a problem or is he happy doing what he does? I ask this because mine doesn't realise he has an addiction and it has ruined my life. I feel for you having 'lost' your husband and your life to cocaine. Like myself. I understand you completely saying you feel like you are living someone else's life. It is a nightmare and can only be solved by your husband wanting help for his addiction and wanting it wholeheartedly. I say this because I hope he gets help soon before he loses all the ability to love what he once did. I'm in this situation and I don't wish it on anyone. My 'husband' also went out overnight repeatedly and not returning home until he had had his fill of alcohol and sniffed enough cocaine. Please talk to him when he returns and comes down, ask if he wants help, he is the only one that can do it. I hope you can get your husband back and your life back on track. You must also look after yourself and keep strong.

by Dfh

1 of 4 posts

Alcoholic mother by

Have you spoken to your mum about needing her to be there as a mother to you? My sister has a problem with the drink and is nasty and violent. This has been happening for years. Doctors would't help and a councillor didn't think she had a problem with drinking eighteen cans a day. Recently her husband has said enough is enough. He has suffered through the years more than me and my other sister. She has now decided to do something about it. She doesn't want to lose us all. She hasn't had a drink for three weeks now. But I'm afraid it took losing us all to do something about it. Keep strong and keep yourself well.

by Jen

1 of 5 posts

Alcoholic mother by

I don't think we can help until they want it. We can be at the end of the phone and try to be supportive, its all we can do. I have spoken to my sister this morning on the phone. She is now three weeks without a drink, going from eighteen cans a day plus cups of whisky. I cannot remember a time that she's not been on the drink. She never seems to get a hangover so thinks she isn't an alcoholic as her husband calls her. But she definitely has a drink problem, she was violent and spiteful the majority of the time. She went to the doctors and told him that she had a problem, he prescribed anti depressants which obviously didn't work washed down with a can of beer. She also went to a councillor that said she hadn't got a problem. So no help was provided even though it was asked for repeatedly. The thing thats helping now is realising that she will lose her loving husband and son, which she does not want to happen. They had a heart to heart and he told her that arguing and falling out with family and friends could not continue. My other sister and myself had refused to talk to her for months. We cannot help. We talked about the cause of her drinking she says there is no reason for it. We have come to the conclusion that it is a habit. She now doesn't go shopping on her own so she can be persuaded not to buy drink. If she wants a drink her husband is there to persuade her not to and it is working. She wants it to work and has accepted the help. She feels much better without the drink now and she didn't turn anything I said into an argument.

1 of 2 posts

when do you give up by

My 'husband' was the same. Going out, drinking excessively and using cocaine. He would be out all hours only coming back to come down. I was there to pass the tissues, rub his back whilst being sick. Getting the paracetamol and orange juice to cure the headaches and hangover. But he chose that lifestyle, he preferred it to the happy life we used to have. He was a horrible, hurtful person and I will never get over the spiteful things he said to me and I cannot easily forgive now. I thought I could. He has left the marital home for over a week now. I too worried about the come downs but at the end of the day it is his choice to sniff and drink, like he says to me it's his life he can do what he wants. My 'husband' has been going through a very stressful time but I know I do not deserve the treatment he has dished out to me and is continuing to do so. He didn't think he had a problem, still doesn't. The man I love has gone and no amount of pleading has brought him back. The majority of his family and friends are into drugs, taking or dealing, one way or the other so they are of no help. The anxiety is still with me.

1 of 6 posts

New to this devastation. My son and cocaine by

Lime18, I don't think you are a misery at all. I can understand your devastation, I feel the same. Thinking of them every minute of every day. You eventually fall asleep thinking of them (husband) you wake up numerous times in the night thinking of them, then you wake in the morning thinking of them, feeling sick. There is no peace with this addiction. I can fully understand and I know I will not feel real happiness again either. I'm worn out too.

by Hox 26

1 of 78 posts

Husband left. by

Thanks Laura. It is too raw to deal with but he doesn't understand this. He now all of a sudden wants a divorce before his court case in four weeks, I've refused as I'm not ready. I don't know where he is staying. Last time he went for about a week, he slept in his van and then went to his nephews. There lies the problem. His nephew deals cocaine and grows cannabis. There is a group in another town that I could go to, I might be able to manage it. (Anxiety) I do thank everyone for their support on here.


4 of 8 posts

I feel frustrated..... by

You need to look after yourself. It's not easy giving it up and it will be a long haul. But he really has to want to stop and not lie to you just to keep a roof over his head whilst you are providing his creature comforts. You work hard and you can't risk your job constantly worrying about him. I'm the same I constantly worry at work, luckily I have an understanding boss and have worked there a long time. Looking back now I have picked up my husband after his all night drinking and coke sessions. This is at the weekend though when I don't work but it's still the same I have run around after him.

by georgia26

3 of 40 posts

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