My husband died by The Blue WidowHello, I'm so very sad to read your post. I can only imagine what you must have been through and the pain you are still feeling. I hope that you have been able to get some support and maybe, help / counselling through your gp, but if you would like any further help please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support for people in similar situations to yourself, who are having to deal with the impact of a loved one's addiction. We have experienced, trained people you could talk with, if you wanted to get in touch. You can contact The Icarus Trust on firstname.lastname@example.org or visit our website www.icarustrust.org I do hope this is helpful. Thinking of you. All the best.