Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by JEM


104 posts in 8 threads

Feel totally desperate about son’s addictions. by

Maxheadroom - that brings back awful memories of going days without hearing anything and constantly looking at google hangouts and whatsapp to see if my son had been online. My imagination used to work overtime and I'd be so relieved when he turned up. He would be chatty and then ask for money, we went on like that for ages. Once I tracked him down to a horrible squat, and he was really cross that I had gone there. Like someone else has said, my son had a great job and social life, it makes no sense. Thinking of everyone on this site, there are so many people struggling, it saps all of the joy out of life.

8 of 69 posts

Partner deteriorated quickly to alcoholism by

Hi J48 I’m so sorry for you and your son over your loss. I really hope that in time you can both look to a happier future. From the things you’ve said your husband loved you both very much. I agree that there is some kind of darkness in addicts that needs to be addressed for them to get better. For that they need professional help. Men can be so proud and stubborn and seem to find it hard to reach out and open up. You sound amazing and would have been a huge comfort to him. God bless you both.

1 of 27 posts

Is leaving my alcoholic partner the answer? by

Hi GFB91 and Holcat. I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear both your stories. My problems are very different from yours, I have a son who is a drug addict, and get loads of support on another thread. I was the daughter of a lifelong functioning alcoholic, and it was our family’s dark secret. It’s a terrible thing for anyone to live with. My dad had a stroke at the age of 78 having downed a mixture of beer and whiskey. He never wanted a drink after that and was never confronted with what he had put our family through. My advice is that if you can find the strength go now. It probably is their best chance of facing up to their addiction. You could waste years of your life on this and there is no guarantee things will change. If they change then that’s amazing and you can be there to support them. The thing that happened in our family is that it diminished everyone. My mum to this day is in her own world and I became drawn to men I thought I could fix. Holkat- you are having to look after step-children, with all of this going on. He is very lucky to have you but he’s sick and needs to get help so that he can be a decent father and partner. The other thing is to talk to friends and relatives that you trust. Don’t let it be a secret, it will help if others know what you are dealing with and if your partners know that family/friends know about it. Sorry if my advice sounds simplistic, I find my own problems with my son very difficult right now and it’s helped me to think about someone else, it’s always harder when you’re on the inside so please talk to other people. I really wish you both all the best, and that if you decide to leave, you get the support you need.

by Leda

1 of 8 posts

My son and heroin by

Hi, I've only just seen your message, it was lovely to read, although I am sorry about your partner, I can imagine how hard this is for you, but you sound very understanding and patient. I have my son with me now, he is about 6 days clean, but facing a very long road ahead. Like you I have never suffered with addiction, but grew up with a functioning alcoholic parent. I am very scared for my son, as I really do get how hard it is to stay clean, and that the odds are stacked against you. I hope you are doing okay and that your partner is moving in the right direction. Take care of yourself. JEM Apologies again for not replying sooner.

3 of 6 posts

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