Theresa by TheresaHi Catsmum I am so sorry that you are going through this, the gambling one is not something I had had to go through with my son. On top of the using it must bring so much more stress and worry. I hope that he starts to see the light, and that things get easier.
Feel totally desperate about son’s addictions. by MaxheadroomMaxheadroom - that brings back awful memories of going days without hearing anything and constantly looking at google hangouts and whatsapp to see if my son had been online. My imagination used to work overtime and I'd be so relieved when he turned up. He would be chatty and then ask for money, we went on like that for ages. Once I tracked him down to a horrible squat, and he was really cross that I had gone there. Like someone else has said, my son had a great job and social life, it makes no sense. Thinking of everyone on this site, there are so many people struggling, it saps all of the joy out of life.
Partner deteriorated quickly to alcoholism by J48Hi J48 I’m so sorry for you and your son over your loss. I really hope that in time you can both look to a happier future. From the things you’ve said your husband loved you both very much. I agree that there is some kind of darkness in addicts that needs to be addressed for them to get better. For that they need professional help. Men can be so proud and stubborn and seem to find it hard to reach out and open up. You sound amazing and would have been a huge comfort to him. God bless you both.
Is leaving my alcoholic partner the answer? by GFB91Hi GFB91 and Holcat. I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear both your stories. My problems are very different from yours, I have a son who is a drug addict, and get loads of support on another thread. I was the daughter of a lifelong functioning alcoholic, and it was our family’s dark secret. It’s a terrible thing for anyone to live with. My dad had a stroke at the age of 78 having downed a mixture of beer and whiskey. He never wanted a drink after that and was never confronted with what he had put our family through. My advice is that if you can find the strength go now. It probably is their best chance of facing up to their addiction. You could waste years of your life on this and there is no guarantee things will change. If they change then that’s amazing and you can be there to support them. The thing that happened in our family is that it diminished everyone. My mum to this day is in her own world and I became drawn to men I thought I could fix. Holkat- you are having to look after step-children, with all of this going on. He is very lucky to have you but he’s sick and needs to get help so that he can be a decent father and partner. The other thing is to talk to friends and relatives that you trust. Don’t let it be a secret, it will help if others know what you are dealing with and if your partners know that family/friends know about it. Sorry if my advice sounds simplistic, I find my own problems with my son very difficult right now and it’s helped me to think about someone else, it’s always harder when you’re on the inside so please talk to other people. I really wish you both all the best, and that if you decide to leave, you get the support you need.
When do I start over? by TrixiHi Trixi, Your story is really sad and it sounds like you’ve been very supportive. I would go with your gut instinct on this, somewhere within you’ll know the answer, I don’t think anyone else can tell you when to cut ties. The only thing I would say is move on slowly, it’s easy to think that you need someone else and that time isn’t on your side but you’re still young. You’ve got loads of time.
Fiance by BeachI feel so bad for you, heroin is like a terrible curse on everyone involved. Do you know if your fiancé has a history of heroin abuse?
My son and heroin by JEMHi, I've only just seen your message, it was lovely to read, although I am sorry about your partner, I can imagine how hard this is for you, but you sound very understanding and patient. I have my son with me now, he is about 6 days clean, but facing a very long road ahead. Like you I have never suffered with addiction, but grew up with a functioning alcoholic parent. I am very scared for my son, as I really do get how hard it is to stay clean, and that the odds are stacked against you. I hope you are doing okay and that your partner is moving in the right direction. Take care of yourself. JEM Apologies again for not replying sooner.
Relapse by Jetster9Have gone through this, its very hard to trust isn't it, and so exhausting. I really hope things get better for all of you.