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Posts by JoPDM123

joined

9 posts in 6 threads

I want to die by

Girl next door, First of all I am so very sorry you feel the way you do, and feel like there is no way out apart from ending your life. I would also like to say well done for leaving that post, it wouldn’t have been easy for you. Some advise from past experience with me. My ex was 28 when he committed suicide leaving behind 3 young children, the devastation it left behind lasts forever. My brother also in the past 6 months has had 4 failed attempts. He also has 2 children. My brothers last attempt left him in a coma with doctors telling the family he would not make it through the night. Luckily he did, it made him realise he couldn’t kill himself, that he was loved and needed. You girlnextdoor are LOVED and NEEDED by your babies, it may seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel right now but there is, I promise life will get better! Make yourself a cuppa tea, run a hot bath and put meditation music on while whispering to yourself ‘calm, I’m loved’. Go and look at your babies sleeping, thinking of them laughing. They NEED you! Please be strong, seek help and look after yourself! It will get easier x

1 of 5 posts

Advice please by

Hi BT and Ash, thank you so much for getting back to me. I have found out this morning that when he was staying with my mum the few days after my dad died he was using in the house. My dad hated drugs and I feel this is so disrespectful. He took it when my mum was in bed. She doesnt, and when I try and tell her she doesn’t want to hear it. She feels she needs to be as nice as possible to my eldest brother all the time incase he kicks off or tries to kill himself again. This is extremely frustrating. I have a lovely partner who is with me every step of the way, but also gets angry when talking about my eldest brother. Cocaine has made my brother very manipulative. Since my dad died he keeps going on about ‘my dad’ instead of our dad to me and the rest of my siblings. Almost as if he is the only one going through this. My dads funeral is next week and I just hope that he doesn’t start to cause disruption in the family even more before of after it. Personally I think a lot of what he does is for attention. I have no started grieving for my dad yet, I haven’t cried yet. I have been so busy looking after my mum, her dogs, the funeral arrangements etc... I’m extremely lucky my work are giving me as much time as I need. But I am exhausted every day, I don’t sleep that well at night. I have taken this afternoon to myself After being at the funeral directors this morning , I’m currently lying in my bed in the dark reflecting on everything that’s going on and happening. Ash you are right I do want to scream at him, I want him to know it’s not about him right now, he doesn’t need to hit out at us. I know everyone grieves in their own way but there is no need for his behaviour right now. I have blocked his number in my phone so I cannot be at the receiving end of his rage anymore. Thanks again both of you xx

by Ash2013

2 of 6 posts

How do I help? by

Hi Tazzer, I am speaking from experience here. 10 years ago I was in a relationship with a guy who was 13 years older than me. (I was the same age as your daughter now) He drank, took drugs etc. He was a lovely guy when sober but he abused me physically and mentally for years. He manipulated me and made me feel sorry for him. I left time and time again but always went back. I hid it from my parents and distanced myself from them despite them being my best friends and being extremely close. I know Dee down my parents knew, as I would turn back up on the door step with a broken nose and black eyes. I went through it for years before I finally build up the courage to say enough is enough, that was a few years later. She needs to find confidence in herself and it will come in her own time. I never listened to my parents and only left when I was ready. He would tell me ‘ I will kill myself if you leave’ that was hard as it made me stay. Later on When I left he did subsequently kill himself but that was his demons not me (his family blamed me of course). Give her time, reassure her you are there for her and be there to pick her up. I know every situation is different.

1 of 2 posts

alcoholic father by

So after my previous comments above, my dad had said to my mum ‘ I won’t be going to the shops again myself etc etc... all bullshit’ I call this morning 9.30am and he answers and is clearly drunk! After seeing him drinking neat vodka in the car smoking a cig, throwing the bottle out the window when he seem time, I then go and pick the bottle up and drive away, I watch him crawl through the bushes for it! How desperate must you be! But to be drunk at 930am is just disgusting and I cannot seem to understand or justify it in my head! I am so close to cutting all ties with him! My mum and I are best friends but I feel she sweeps it under the carpet for a easy life! So fed up already and it’s not even 10am

by Lucy19

3 of 21 posts

My Father is denying being an alcoholic by

My father is 72 years old, him and my mum have been together for over 40 years. Myself and my brothers had a great upbringing as children. We are all adults now. Well point of this is tonight I drove over to my mum and dads (they live in the middle of nowhere) to use their big bins. When I was driving up I noticed my dads car Parker on the track road. He was drinking straight vodka smoking a cig. He tried to deny it but I finally caught him with my own eyes. He has been drinking for years ago (I would say about 5 years) but it’s always straight vodka or whiskey. I have no idea how much he is drinking, it was a quarter bottle today but my aunt has seen him buying half bottles in the shops. None of us know how much he is drinking daily. My mum ignores it now because he manipulates her and makes her feel bad. He has completely destroyed my mum. He mentally abuses her every day but my mum won’t leave. I cried loads over this tonight to my partner as I feel so helpless. If he denies it and doesn’t want to admit he has a problem what am I meant to do? How can I help him? He’s an old man who has suffered multiple heart attacks. He was just diagnosed with angina 2 days ago and has a spray for his angina attacks. I fear he is going to kill himself through alcohol. When I tried to speak to him tonight he just keeps repeating himself, arguing with me, denying it, making me feel guilty for catching him. I don’t know what to do anymore and it’s breaking my heart.

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