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Posts by Kellsbells


5 posts in 2 threads

Partner drinking by

Don’t feel guilty at all. The thing is, it is about you too. It affects us more than they could ever know. Even when my partner is being great and back to his lovely self, I have a coldness and I find i snap easily. I do try and disguise this and let the love and happiness take over, but im not the same. I love him so much, but it can’t not change you. The lies, the way they act, it’s like living with a stranger. Yeah I’ve contemplated going to an Al Anon group too. I think counselling may be my first step. Take care

3 of 5 posts

How to feel about it? by

I’m so sorry. You know straight away what the following day has in store when they fall asleep downstairs. My partner has had a bad week. Like yours, he can keep off it. He’s gone a few weeks before when he needed to start new medication, and he’s plenty of times he’s withdrawn. We are supposed to be seeing my family in the garden today and he’s so excited to see my nephews, but I know by 1 he will have drank. He’s “taken the dog a walk.” He’s getting cigarettes, so I know he will get a bottle. You sound like you’ve been patient and tried everything for him. Don’t blame yourself or feel guilty about anything. I know it’s hard, but we can’t change them. I feel guilt now and then over the very start of it. I knew from years ago that this certain anti depressant didn’t suit him when he drank any alcohol and he got drunk fast, but when the Dr gave him it this time around, I thought tough. It did help his mental health, but I could see what it was doing and didn’t help. Even on shandy’s you could tell he’d drank. I told him to stop altogether, but he didn’t. The logic of going onto vodka is beyond me, but everyone tells me to stop blaming myself. He lost his licence over being silly. He took my car to the chip shop, he’d had shandy’s earlier on. Car broke down, my recovery was delayed and so the police stopped by and of course he failed the test. I think his driving awareness course telling him about vodka being better units didn’t help. My partner isn’t strong willed to make changes, which worries me. He broke down last night and so’s she hates how he is. He often does this. He finally agreed to AA. He hates speaking in front of others, but said he will try. You’re already detaching by taking yourself away from him when he’s drank which is good, but yeah I totally get why having to go upstairs annoys you, I’d be the same. I long for the time he goes to bed, for some time alone. I hope your Easter gets better. Chat whenever you need to x

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