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Posts by Kindredcoyote

joined

20 posts in 7 threads

Boyfriend with cocaine addiction by

Sorry I haven’t logged in here for a while. I’m really sorry you are going through this. I was in the position that it was my house so maybe easier to get out. I sought counselling through The Icarus Trust. It really helped me. I asked my boyfriend to leave. It was hard. He kept turning back up and leaving things on my doorstep if I didn’t answer. Just trying to get back in to my life basically. In the end I just had to completely cut contact and not respond. It actually was much easier then. Once you get out of this cycle and cut contact and can have some head space to care and look after yourself again, I realised actually what a really awful situation it was and it was never going to change. It takes all your energy just to get through. I was single for over a year and then when I have now met someone else, I had got myself back and realised the pattern I was in. Please get some support from The Icarus Trust or go to your Gp and explain you really need some help with counselling. I used to feel so angry that I was the one needing to have counselling and support when I felt that I wasn’t the one with the problem, but it was the best thing I did. I did have a massive problem and it affected every part of my life! You have to look after yourself and put yourself first.

My cocaine addict partner by

I think he will hold on to that stuff because it’s all he has against you. Don’t expect a normal response from someone that’s not leading a normal life. You won’t get the appreciation for any of it. Did you own your own home before? Have you been to your local council for help with housing? The best thing you can do is what he has said. Don’t go back and focus on yourself. The addition is a disease and he won’t get better until he wants to and gets help and even then it will be really hard.

by

2 of 30 posts

Boyfriend's cocaine addiction. by

Please just put yourself first, you’ve not been soft, you’ve been in a manipulative situation and have been trying to make the best of it. You said you have a lot of support from family so even if it’s hard you will have what you need from them. Don’t try to figure him out - which part of him is the real him etc. You know the facts already and that is that cocaine comes first and until he gets real help and wants to stop it always will. Focus on you and the baby and not what he needs or might need or what you want him to do. He will only do what he wants to do. The only thing you can control is what you do. I wish you all the best. Use the support offered through the Icarus Trust.

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