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Posts by Lamouette

joined

9 posts in 7 threads

Recognising alcoholism by

I’m so fearful my partner will drink until he has pickled his liver and kidneys. He drinks a 10 pack of beer every day. The other day he also had a litre bottle of sherry. 2 weeks before that he drank an almost full bottle of Cointreau liqueur both as well as the beer. On the weekend, almost guaranteed within 15 mins of waking up he asks if we have any beer. He’s out of work at the moment so it’s me that is covering the cost. I know I must be stronger to protect my own finances as it’s so expensive. The other night at midnight he asked if I could go to the shop for more beer. I went mad and said it’s not unreasonable for me to say no and what sort of man sends their loving partner into the night to do that. His father was an alcoholic I understand and died at 39 when my partner was 9. So worried for him now and for myself. I know I can’t help him and he has to want to help himself. Reading your helpful posts where help has sadly not worked makes me want to try harder. But I’m also at the point where I cannot face living my life this way forever with this man. He’s also into coke and weed. I’m worried I’ll get home one day and find him in a bad way. Has anyone else been here?

by Stimsh

1 of 4 posts

Partners lies by

Liza - can totally sympathise. My partner is living at my house and his addiction getting worse. He puts drink and sniff before - in my opinion - his own children. They stay with us every other weekend. They are great but the little one is still getting used to me and won’t let me change her nappy. I will never force her and scare her so I always wake him to do it. Sometimes he complains and I go ballistic at him for neglecting his children. I was busy working at home this week and I gave him £25 to get chicken nuggets, oven chips, apples, orange squash and yoghurts. He phoned whilst out for another £20. Expects me to believe he spent £40 on it!! I thought he needed fuel. I feel like a fool for supporting him because I’m pretty strong and financially independent. I want the old him back who was sweet and kind and didn’t lie. I haven’t asked him to leave because I hope rather than believe that he will change. His father was an alcoholic and died of a heroin overdose when my partner was 9. It seems no matter what you do, the apple dosn’t fall far from the tree. I don’t have any helpful advice - but you not alone and when you are ready you will have the strength to do what is needed.

by Elchapo

1 of 7 posts

Wits end by

When I met my other half a year ago, he was working cheerful, loving and happy. I knew he took a little coke but seemed ok (so naive!). He worked and a couple of times a week has a 4 pack of beer. Fast forward to now and he’s not worked for 6 months, is living at my home, has taken to telling me he’s stopped with the coke and then phones when he’s out to say he owes people £200 and can I pay it. The other day I found him sobbing in the night having drunk an entire bottle of sherry I used once for cooking. It’s all got so out of hand. I know I should ask him to leave. I feel so guilty as I know he dosn’t get on with his family (should have rung my alarm bells) and it may make him homeless. I keep covering costs and I have to stop or it will drag my really good finances down. I was in a really good place but am starting to have credit debt now as I go over my budget to get things for him. I don’t know how to help him. He’s getting worse. He’s in a dark head space and can’t shift it. He’s not the person I met and I want that back or for him to go. Anyone else had this and found the strength to sort it? I know I will - I just have to do it before it’s too late for me and everything I’ve worked hard for. Thanks in advance.

First alcohol, now drugs... by

I’m not sure I can help much but I can totally relate so will say you are deffo not alone. My partner is very similar although we haven’t been together so long. Recently the lies have been around me telling him he can’t borrow money and then finding out he’s borrowed it elsewhere and got in some really sticky situations. I’m missing the person I met who was funny , outgoing and kind. He is now currently depressed and sleeping all day and last night said he wanted to die (again). Just when I think he’s doing better, something new comes out the woodwork. I know I need to cut my losses or he will drag my very successful life down. And I’m at the point where it’s him or me - and I choose me. I’m also desperate to help him. It’s really hard so I feel for your situation xx

by Harl

1 of 38 posts

He wants to stop drinking by

That’s a nice idea around the diary. I’ve only just found this forum and I’ve realised that everyone’s stories lead to the same point - which is they will only change if they want to. And I’ve realised maybe just in time that I’ve supported him to a tune of about £16k and I have to stop and apply first aid to myself before it’s too late. I thought he was starting to do better as he stopped asking me for money and I stopped giving it - and the this week he came home and said he owed £200 to someone else and they were hassling him. So basically he just does what he wants and f**k everyone else it seems. Am so glad I found this site - has give me some gumption back x

I'm ending my relationship due to drinking by

You are doing the right thing. I am the other way round to you in that we have my partners children every other weekend. Today my partner is definitely not in a fit state to look after his children. He downed 12 beers and a whole bottle of sherry last night and sat up drinking until 6:30am. I’m about to call their mother as the little one is 2 1/2 and is refusing to let me change her nappy and I don’t want to force her and frighten her. I worry when they are here becasue I don’t want to leave his own children with him so I can go out. Trust me - you’re doing the right thing. I’m about to ask him to leave my house - he needs to get his life together and realise what he’s got and what he can lose. Put yourself and your little ones first- good luck x

1 of 7 posts

Helping an alcoholic by

Hi all, My partner lost his job in September and has slowly been increasing his drinking over time. It feels like it has totally escalated. 4 weeks ago he was sobbing in the night about life. I was sympathetic and encouraged things would get better. When I got downstairs in the morning I saw an empty bottle of Cointreau liqueur which he had finished along with his seeming usual 10 beers. Last night was similar although this time it was a full bottle 750cl of sherry. He is wasted and sick and I’m now taking care of his small children who are visiting for the weekend. I now have their mother to deal with as well as sorting them out. I’ve no clue where to start helping him and his children deserve better. Anyone had this or got any suggestions? Thanks in advance :)

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