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Posts by LauraJ


11 posts in 4 threads

Heartbroken and need help by

Hello, I’m so sorry you are having to go through chemo and hope this is all going well. This is exactly the same with my ex, he is the sort of ‘ring leader’ as he has everyone round to his house and if he just didn’t do that then they wouldn’t be able to do it. It’s so frustrating. I’ve personally never taken anything (except alcohol), so I find it difficult to understand the hold it has on him, especially when he feels horrendous and it takes him 2 days a time to fully recover. I also get the cycle of him being very loving to extremely reactive/defensive, where he acts like I’m trying to argue with him over absolutely nothing. For example, I once joked that that it took him so long to text me back that it was ‘the worlds longest reply’. I was clearly having a joke with him and he completely kicked off, saying I was picking at him again and nothing he ever does is good enough. I was just always walking on eggshells but he tried to turn this around and say he has to watch what he says to me. You have done 2 months without him and that is amazing. The more time the goes on, the stronger you will feel about it and the self love will come with that. I’m also working on my self esteem as I seem to attract men who treat me badly in one way or another (my previous boyfriend before this one cheated on me multiple times). Again, I’m here if you need to chat. It’s hard when people don’t understand your situation as they’re not directly affected. Take care, Laura x

by Danman83

4 of 18 posts

Boyfriend left me to recover by

Hi Smh1987, Thank you for your reply! If I’d of known what I know now, in the nicest way possible, I wouldn’t have stepped foot near this relationship. I love him dearly but he has caused me so much stress that I am now taking anxiety medication. I live alone but I do have wonderful parents and friends who would be there in a heartbeat if I needed them. For now I am coping quite well as I have realised I need to get away from this situation before it destroys my chance of ever having a proper family and life. I’ve also posted yesterday about my particular situation in more detail if it would be of interest to you (not sure how you search it but I titled it something like ‘Heartbroken and in need of advice’. I hope you are doing okay and I would always be happy to chat. I’m pretty active on this forum so I will keep an eye out for any replies. Take care, Laura x

Cocaine addiction ?habit by

Hi Poppy, I’ve just been scrolling the forum and your post really resonated with me. My boyfriend of 2 years also takes cocaine recreationally but I think he has an addiction. He does it every weekend without fail, even if he is just having a few drinks with his mates at his house. I went round to check on him today at 3 in the afternoon and he was still off his face from the night before. I hope you are okay..I understand completely how you feel. I also hate drugs of any kind so it really goes against your morals and boundaries when they know this and refuse to stop or just don’t even try to. I personally don’t think I am willing to put up with it any longer after the amount of conversations he has promised he will stop. I hope you manage to sort things out, but please don’t let it be at the expense of your own mental health. Laura x

1 of 3 posts

Is my boyfriend a cocaine addict? by

Hi Ash, Thank you so much for your reply. Yes I think that’s one of the main issues - all of his friends do it whenever they have a drink (even if this is just a chilled one at someone’s house) so I can’t even go out for a drink or two with him as I don’t like being around it. I can’t build a future with him as I don’t think we could live under the same roof since he is so irresponsible - he has even had drug dealers knocking on his door looking for his mates due to all of their involvement and I cannot believe he would put his loved ones at risk like that. We are not married with kids so it would be easy enough for me to leave him. He is patronising sometimes when I try and speak to him about it, saying I’m like a teacher he’s scared to see in case I ‘tell him off’. He also let me down with plans a lot due to being hungover from drink and drugs and I know that I deserve better than this. Again, thank you for your advice and I’m pleased that your husband is clean now! :) Best wishes, Laura

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