Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Leda

joined

13 posts in 9 threads

I don’t know what to do :( by

Whilst you still have your own house and job- I think you need to get independent of him. Otherwise it will creep further into your life and you might end up losing what stability you have. I would also recommend keeping a private journal to get your emotions out onto paper- also it confirms what is truth and what is a lie. In my opinion, you really need to get out now. I know it is difficult- I am still going through it with a long time partner- but he eroded all my self confidence and self esteem and I am separating from him with nothing left. I should have left years ago- but at least I am leaving now, but I am starting from scratch with my life because of it.

1 of 5 posts

Where to go now? by

I think your instinct is right- you need to prioritise your children. I don't think it is underhand to call the police if she is being aggressive towards you or your children. It sounds like you are in the US, I am in the UK. But here we have a system where you make a diary of abuse/negative behaviour after reporting first incidents to the police. If it is on-going and you have recorded it then it can help your case. You might consider recording evidence if possible.

by Jap88

1 of 10 posts

Is leaving my alcoholic partner the answer? by

It is helping me too, to read that I am not alone. I feel that I am getting stronger every day since I told him he can't come home until he is clean(he walked out on me to go for another binge)- that was 6 months ago- it was painful but I had to watch and listen to him spiraling and I had to resist- he was suicidal and weakened himself- I was running over to the hotel every night with home cooked meals- now I find out that even though he told me he had no energy to even go to the shop to get food, he was going to get a bottle of vodka every day. I know he has already relapsed since he was recently in rehab for 6 weeks. I just know the signs. Gaslighting makes you doubt yourself- but since I have had time on my own I am now healing and getting stronger. I am 50 now- but starting to feel confident that I will be able to move on. I am writing things in a journal. I would recommend it- it gets it out of your head and also reassures you about the lies and truth.

2 of 8 posts

Partner of 16 years addiction by

For many years now(relationship of 16 years) I have been suffering with a partner who has alcohol addiction(in denial). He recently went in for a 6week rehab program(finally!)- after I refused to let him return home after his months of binges (and blowing our savings) on hotels to binge in. During his recent rehab days I was starting to feel positive- and actually seeing a happy future, plus I found I was healing- I hadn't realised just how low my self esteem and confidence had become. I didn't want him to come straight home though- as I am now very scared of relapse- so he is at his parents. But I have been feeling, since he has been out of rehab for only a couple of weeks, that he has already relapsed. He is back to lying, gaslighting, and setting up fake stories- so that I am the one he will blame for relapse. I think I am at the end of our relationship now. He has controlled me so much- he is a "high functioning" alcoholic so persuaded me to give up work a while ago. Am I an idiot? I feel so betrayed I phoned Samaritans today. I am 50 years old and somehow I need to get myself back on track from square one. It's horrendous.

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