Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Leda


13 posts in 9 threads

I don’t know what to do :( by

Whilst you still have your own house and job- I think you need to get independent of him. Otherwise it will creep further into your life and you might end up losing what stability you have. I would also recommend keeping a private journal to get your emotions out onto paper- also it confirms what is truth and what is a lie. In my opinion, you really need to get out now. I know it is difficult- I am still going through it with a long time partner- but he eroded all my self confidence and self esteem and I am separating from him with nothing left. I should have left years ago- but at least I am leaving now, but I am starting from scratch with my life because of it.

1 of 5 posts

Where to go now? by

I think your instinct is right- you need to prioritise your children. I don't think it is underhand to call the police if she is being aggressive towards you or your children. It sounds like you are in the US, I am in the UK. But here we have a system where you make a diary of abuse/negative behaviour after reporting first incidents to the police. If it is on-going and you have recorded it then it can help your case. You might consider recording evidence if possible.

by Jap88

1 of 10 posts

Is leaving my alcoholic partner the answer? by

It is helping me too, to read that I am not alone. I feel that I am getting stronger every day since I told him he can't come home until he is clean(he walked out on me to go for another binge)- that was 6 months ago- it was painful but I had to watch and listen to him spiraling and I had to resist- he was suicidal and weakened himself- I was running over to the hotel every night with home cooked meals- now I find out that even though he told me he had no energy to even go to the shop to get food, he was going to get a bottle of vodka every day. I know he has already relapsed since he was recently in rehab for 6 weeks. I just know the signs. Gaslighting makes you doubt yourself- but since I have had time on my own I am now healing and getting stronger. I am 50 now- but starting to feel confident that I will be able to move on. I am writing things in a journal. I would recommend it- it gets it out of your head and also reassures you about the lies and truth.

2 of 8 posts

Partner of 16 years addiction by

For many years now(relationship of 16 years) I have been suffering with a partner who has alcohol addiction(in denial). He recently went in for a 6week rehab program(finally!)- after I refused to let him return home after his months of binges (and blowing our savings) on hotels to binge in. During his recent rehab days I was starting to feel positive- and actually seeing a happy future, plus I found I was healing- I hadn't realised just how low my self esteem and confidence had become. I didn't want him to come straight home though- as I am now very scared of relapse- so he is at his parents. But I have been feeling, since he has been out of rehab for only a couple of weeks, that he has already relapsed. He is back to lying, gaslighting, and setting up fake stories- so that I am the one he will blame for relapse. I think I am at the end of our relationship now. He has controlled me so much- he is a "high functioning" alcoholic so persuaded me to give up work a while ago. Am I an idiot? I feel so betrayed I phoned Samaritans today. I am 50 years old and somehow I need to get myself back on track from square one. It's horrendous.

We use optional analytics cookies to help us improve our site by collecting and reporting anonymous information on how you use it.