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Posts by Liberty

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108 posts in 5 threads

Addicts who become dealers by

I’ve been very public about my story, or rather sharing my partners story and the impact my partners lifelong crack use has had on our relationship. My partner has since become an addict who deals on behalf of a dealer to get the drugs he wants, this is a direct result of his inability to fund his addiction himself, since covid meant massive loss of income for him, he’s been unable to work and is now on benefits. This situation has exposed an area of dealing I haven’t been aware of before. My partner is now a dealer, taking calls, making orders, dropping off to other addicts. His dealer comes once a day to drop off ‘stock’, pick up money and give my partner the crack he wants to get through the day. I can’t sit by and whiteness this without raising awareness to it, even if nothing positive comes of it. The dealer isn’t a user himself (I haven’t come across many who are). I’m sure these ‘non-using’ dealers are the ones being targeted by crime prevention schemes, but what about the lower-level addict dealers like my partner? The vulnerable addicts who deal to use. Sure my partner has been a lifelong user, he was finally moving past it all though, he was focusing on more positive non-drug associated things, life was getting good for us. Now he’s been sucked back in deeper than before, the control he did have has been forced out of him because of covid. I would like to be able to report a phone number being used in drug activity, have it disconnected, break the connection, make drugs less accessible. Does anything like this exist?

1 of 1 post

Crack Addicted Mum by

Salboo, I completely understand. Every time she disregards the love and care of you and everyone who cares about her, it’s easy for the anger and sense of loss to creep in. I feel the same. My boyfriend is stuck in a horrible cycle, he does really well, is really positive, we start to plan for the future again and then, he disappears, he’ll start smoking crack and all of a sudden, he’s just a satellite with no care for me, our future and the only win is money for the crack and the high, no matter the risk, no matter anything. When he’s had enough and the comedown kicks in he wants me again. What he never seems to notice is that every time he stops being engaged and connected with me, to me he’s suddenly lost. Completely gone. It could be for a few days, a week, with the risks of crack use, it could even be forever. And it is loss I feel every time, boarder line grief, all the things we speak about for the future are a world away, maybe for a short time. Maybe for good. My boyfriend has covid recently. Given his age and poor lifestyle, for so long, naturally I wasn’t sure how it would affect him. As it turns out, he did get very sick, fortunately didn’t require medical intervention, has stayed at home (we are living apart at the moment, he’s alone and I’m here with my elderly mum), and he’s since recovered, but at his worst I realised that those periods in between when we spoke, while he was sleeping and I didn’t know what to expect of the next few hours, I considered if I was more scared or less. With covid being a fatal virus, how worried was I? It turns out, the feeling of concern for his health and life matched the same feeling of worry and expected loss that I have every time he gets on the crack. It gets to this big seemingly irreversible point almost every other week, sometimes more frequently. Sometimes less frequently. I’m so used to feeling like I’ve lost him now that if I actually did, I doubt it would be much of an impact on my life, which is so so sad. Living apart for us has definitely made his addiction worse, if it weren’t for covid preventing him from working, I expect it wouldn’t have got as bad as it has. I believe the person you are trying to help overcome the addiction, in this case your mum, has to commit to wanting to give up, all be it in a small way. It doesn’t happen overnight, small steps, one at a time, but ultimately they have to want to change, otherwise, it will always just be that perpetual cycle of you trying to help, them using again, you feeling that sense of loss. I agree with what publican said, if she could start by blocking out people who only make the problem worse, not better, that’s surely a positive thing. Anything like that will help. Until the point she will accept your help, there is not much else I think you can do, other than try in small ways to reach that point, which is (or has been in my case) a really long hard road. I know some people do recover, but personally, I don’t know anyone who has. That x of yours sounds like a terrible person, does he really hate you so much that he’s become an enabler to your own mothers drug addiction? The lowest of the low, you are well rid! It sounds like you have good support of your aunt and your boyfriend, I hope that keeps you strong, I send you care and remind you to take care of yourself xxx

My fiance has a cocaine addiction. Do I stand by him after everything hes done? by

Oh anon I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Life is what you make it, likely it’s not worth thinking what the future will be like, perhaps try not put too much pressure on yourself to make any major decisions, I don’t think any of us can really do that with covid anyway. It sounds like your fiancée is trying to make positive changes, perhaps he just needs time. The fact that he’s being honest about the problem is something to be thankful for. If you haven’t seen it yet, there’s a really interesting Ted talk with Johann Hari, he talks about how the Portuguese manage addiction, it gave me hope and I’ve never forgotten it. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve wanted to convince myself to walk away, a few times I actually have. I used to question everything for days sometimes, and every time I’d decide I’d regret walking away more than I could ever regret staying, especially with the way things are now. Do you have any support from family and friends? If he’s staying with his mum, is she supporting him in the recovery too? Thinking of you, sending care xx

4 of 9 posts

Theresa by

Bump22, I would totally do the same, Lotto win or not, there’s so much more that can be done much earlier, if I ever get the chance I’ll do the same. I also think to a degree there’s much more that can be done to battle the war on drugs at source. My bf is a lifelong crack addict, he’s an intelligent, charismatic and wonderful guy, but behind closed doors (expect for me and his inner circle) he’s battling addiction on a daily basis. He enjoys the buzz and the battle though, he says he wants to stop, but a big part of me thinks there’s no way that’ll ever happen, which is heartbreaking. Sending care and support xx

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