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Talk about your experiences with others.
joined 21 August 2020
463 posts in 144 threads
Thanks Ajay, this gives us all hope.
Click onto 'share your story ' at the top, then scroll back until you see the Theresa thread.
The other mums are so supportive.
Hi Liz, welcome to the forum, everyone here has a loved one with addictions.
I am so sorry to read your story. This is a very stressful time for you and the family. I wanted you to know that there's no need to feel alone in this nightmare.
My son is 28 and has alcohol and cocaine addictions, I know how this evil drug can turn our sons into people we don't recognise anymore. They become selfish, unfeeling, aggressive, run up debt, and expect you to pay it. They will blame you for all their problems. The truth is, they always hurt those who are closest to them. I'm sorry to say in my experience, until they realise they have a problem, nothing you say will make them change.
It would be difficult to put him out the house, but sometimes you need to put your own health and well-being first. He needs to know you love him but hate what addiction is doing to him.
The Icarus trust posts here and the adfam forum offers help and advice for families. I post on the Theresa thread, there are several of us mums all with sons with addictions. Everyone is so understanding and supportive.
Please stay strong.
Welcome to the forum, where so many here are affected by a loved one's addictions. You will never be judged and people here are supportive and kind.
I just noticed your post and wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. Addiction is a terrible and evil thing to have in a family. It consumes everything and everyone. It turns your loved one into a selfish, horrible and insensitive person. All they care about is the next fix.
It is an illness that's very hard for the to control, unless they are really strong and will seek help.
Unfortunately for some, like your dad, the need for this drug consumes their whole life. They go on a path of self destruct and push away those who love them.
Please don't feel guilty, I'm sure you tried your best with him.
He is now out of this torment now, and I'm sure he loved you but this evil addiction was too strong for him to fight.
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions and every day is a battle for him. Thankfully he is in early recovery atm.
Take care of yourself, speak to bereavement counselling service. Icarus trust and the Adfam forum have support too.
Thinking and praying for you
I've been thinking of you all here often.
68862 - I'm so sorry to hear that your son's addiction is upsetting the family. It's so frustrating when you know they could turn their lives around and everyone could just lead normal lives.
Addiction is evil, it just seems to rip the heart out of families. I wish I knew what to say to make things better for you. Hopefully he's had a fright and will knuckle down and fight this fight. Your lovely grandchildren will be a welcome distraction at this time for you.
Debc - I'm also sorry to hear that your son has relapsed. It's really frustrating, you kinda get lured into a false sense of security when they're in recovery, but at the same time, you feel you can never really relax. At least you have work and your grandchild.
I'm glad he's doing meetings, my son almost relapsed again, feeling sorry for himself, why do I need to do this, or that? Why can't I do this etc. A CA fellowship guy spoke to him and told him to stop feeling sorry for himself. He hadn't been to a meeting for a few days and was weakening. I'm sure he'll get back on the saddle again. As I said to 68862 it's a battle they fight with addiction every moment of the day, and particularly at weekends. We can only love them, as Kate said, addiction and all.
Stay strong, thinking and praying for us all here.
Hi Jasminnie, welcome to the forum. So sorry to hear that you are going through this nightmare which is addiction- with your son.
Unfortunately I don't have all the answers but I wanted you to know that there's no need to feel alone.
My son is 28 and has alcohol and cocaine addictions. He is currently in early recovery and i know every day is a battle for him.
He started dabbling at 14 and progressed to cocaine triggered by alcohol. I have been through the aggressive behaviour, the escalating debt, us being blamed for all his issues etc.
I usually post on the Theresa thread, there are several of us mums all with sons with addictions. Its so difficult to give advice as every person with addiction needs a different approach. In my opinion there needs to be a balance of the fact that he needs your unconditional love, but you need to take care of your own mental health too.
The forum has a homepage with support and the Icarus trust posts here too. There are people in recovery here, also offering support and advice from a different perspective.
Unfortunately it has to be his decision to stop and change his lifestyle. When this happens, its easier to support them I've found.
The AA and CA offer great support it's been the only thing that's worked for my son so far.
Please take care of yourself, find time for you.
Stay in touch here.
Always here to chat econrathe,
Everyone on this forum are so understanding and supportive.
My son is 28 and has alcohol and cocaine addictions, I know how this illness can consume the addict and their families. Unfortunately there just isn't enough support for them.
It's great that he was in that job for 25 years, it was probably his saving grace a lot of the time, bless him.
Yes, alanon will be a good support for you. Take as much support and advice as you need.
Take care of yourself now.
Congratulations Dot, you should be very proud of yourself!
I agree, it's great to hear some positive news, it gives us all hope.
My son had a clean 6 months - but relapsed unfortunately. He's back in early recovery again thankfully almost 3 months now, I know it's difficult for him , but he knows what the alternative is.
Keep on doin what you're doin!
Thank you for your post Jamesb, this is a lovely tribute and I know you will make your mum and dad proud.
Take care of yourself and your family.
Sounds like a plan Tim. I've had a lovely day 😊thanks
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