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Posts by Lindyloo

joined

497 posts in 155 threads

Guidance.. please help by

Jo, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Both your dad and now your brother. Such a difficult time for you. I wanted to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. No one can understand what goes on in the mind of someone who is affected by addiction or mental health issues. Please don't blame yourself for anything that's happened. They are just tormented souls who don't know where or who to turn to. Please look after your own health and well-being particularly now that you have your baby. Your brother and dad are at peace now and wouldn't like to see you upset or struggling to cope. There is also bereavement counselling support groups. Keep in touch, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Lx

by Kate1

1 of 3 posts

Dark slope with alcohol by

Hi Sam Welcome to the forum, thank you for sharing your story, that must have been hard for you to take that first step. This is the first step to recovery, to admit that you have a problem and want to seek support. I agree with Debc, this is a lot for you to deal with on your own. If you are in the UK, the GP should be referring you to a group for Adults with autism. For your addiction, the AA is a good place to start, you will meet others you can talk to, or just listen. You will get coping strategies and meet others who will support you during your difficult days. The Icarus trust posts here too, they have advice and support. Please don't feel you have to deal with this on your own. My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions and currently in early recovery. He says AA is the only thing that helps him. He has anxiety and ocd type issues too. My nephew has aspergers so I understand some of the issues you have. Do you work? Do they realise that you're struggling- they also have a duty of care to support you. It is ultimately down to you now to seek the help you need. It might be difficult at first but it will be so worth it in the end. Keep posting here, we all look out for each other and support each other. Take care, Lx

1 of 3 posts

Relapsed after 4 month by

Hi Dan, glad to hear that you're still doing well - and saving up too, that's brilliant. It's good when you start to see results when you re trying so hard. If I was your mum - and I'm probably old enough lol, I'd be so proud of you. My son is doing okay atm. He still gets really anxious and stressed about stuff, I know it's so difficult for him. He's about two months into this recovery, lost some excess weight, going to gym etc. He's doing his best. Stay strong and take care, thanks again for your support. Lx

Help by

Hi all, I've been reading your thread. I am the mum of a 28yrs old son who has alcohol and cocaine addictions. He is currently in early recovery. Over the last couple of years he's tried everything but rehab, which is too expensive and needs time off work. He joined the AA fellowship and CA. He's gained a wealth of knowledge and support from these guys. He said , for him, it's the only thing that works. There is always the chance of relapses, but this is common. His best stint was almost 6 months clean. He's currently 2 months clean. I'm so proud of him, as I know every day is a battle for you guys. Stay strong, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Lx

by Louuse

1 of 5 posts

Heartbroke by

Hi Mony I'm sorry to hear of your loss. You shouldn't feel guilty, I'm sure while you were together you did your best to help him. Unfortunately when the addiction takes over their lives, it totally consumes them. It turns them into people we don't recognise, and they treat those who are closest to them, the worst unfortunately They have to be mentally and emotionally strong to fight it and so do the partners or families. He was a tormented soul who is now at peace. It's just very sad for those left behind. I hope you get the help and support you need at this difficult time. Take care Mony, Lx ❤

by Hilton

1 of 4 posts

my brother and mother its insane by

Hi Marebear, Welcome to the forum, I was so sorry to read your story, you really have a lot to cope with just now. Unfortunately I don't have all the answers but I wanted you to know that I was thinking of you. Have you read the adfam home page? There's some little podcasts giving you some strategies to help you cope. The Icarus trust also posts here too, you can check out their Website. I have a son with addictions and have looked after an elderly relative with health needs in the past, so I know things can overwhelm you. In the meantime, please look after your own health and well-being first and foremost, it well help you to cope better. I really hope you get the help and support you need. Take care , keep posting here❤ Lx

1 of 2 posts

My Son Cannabis addict by

Hi Linda, I've been reading your story on this thread. I'm so very sorry you are going through this with your son. We're all on this forum because we have a loved one with an addiction. I usually post on the Theresa thread, we are all mums with sons with addictions. My son is 28yrs and has alcohol and cocaine addictions. The last 14yrs of his (and our ) lives has been a nightmare. I understand some of what you're going through. My son reached out to us for help almost 2 years ago. He admitted his addictions and asked us to support him. He joined AA and CA and has got himself clean but also has had relapses. He told me to still love him but hate the addiction and what it does. I think you're doing the right thing supporting the best way you can under these really difficult circumstances. Detaching yourself a bit is something you need to do for your own sanity in my opinion. Find time for yourself and celebrate small achievements. The forum has advice and support as do the Icarus trust who post here. I hope you both get the help and support you both need. Unfortunately until they themselves admit they have a problem and want support there's little we as mums can do except pray and support them as best we can without enabling them too much. Stay strong, keep in touch here. It helps to vent or seek support. Take care ❤ Lx

by Linda

3 of 43 posts

alcoholic father by

Hi emz66 Welcome to the forum, everyone here has a loved one with an addiction. Its a good place to come and chat to others who are in similar situations. You are so young, I was sad to read your story. My son has addictions and over the years it's been hard but I know it was hard for his younger sister. Having someone in the family with an addiction is very stressful. I wondered if you had someone in school like a guidance/welfare person who you could talk to confidentially. At least the school would support you a bit more? It would be good if you had a hobby you were interested in, or if you are sporty, cycling, walking. My daughter loved musical theatre and joined a group. It helped her with her anxiety and boosted her confidence. I know in some places it may be difficult because of covid. Even a nice walk somewhere pretty or a bus to the seaside. Listening to your favourite songs and dance around your room would be good too ! I'm getting a bit old for that now! Your dad will still love you, but as others have said, the addiction just takes over their lives and their thoughts and makes them selfish and unfeeling towards people closest to them. Perhaps when he's most sober let him know you still love him but he's hurting you all because of his lifestyle. Only he can make the decision to stop drinking and seek support, it's the first step to recovery. In the meantime, look after yourself sweetheart. ❤ Sending hugs Lx

1 of 27 posts

Quitting pain-killers after 3 years by

Hi John J Welcome to the forum. Im so pleased that you realise that you have an addiction and you are doing something about it. You should be proud of yourself for taking that first step to recovery! My son is 28 and is fighting alcohol and cocaine addictions. He's doing well thankfully at the moment, he reached out to CA and AA fellowship for support. For him, this definitely works. He's made a good set of friends and has support from them pretty much 24/7. He's had to steer clear of his old friends for fear of relapses. He has to abstain completely from alcohol as this triggers the need for cocaine. I wondered if any of your family know or close friends, as i think you need to confide in someone close in my opinion. But the fellowship are a wonderful support if not. There are other people here in recovery and lots of people who have loved ones with addictions. Take care John and I wish you well in your battle with addiction. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing 🙂 Stay strong Lx

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