Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Lindyloo


497 posts in 155 threads

Alcohol / Dementia by

Hi Em I'm glad that you're getting help from the social worker, that's a good start. I guess this is a difficult time for your aunt, so many changes. And she has recently lost her husband. With my relative's dementia, she liked routine. Her weight also went up and down. Before the carers were organised, I used to visit her regularly and set out her tops and trousers, let her choose between two that matched. Still giving her a bit of control, then set them out for the carer to dress her in the morning. She didn't like the carers at first, but she soon got used to them and I met them too. We used to make a point of taking her out for a meal every Sunday and looked forward to it. The hospital had a dementia group they took twice a week, she wasn't sure at first, but she got used to it and enjoyed the company. The Social work could possibly tell you what's available. My relative gradually had mobility issues so she was happy to get out the house. I know that there will be moments of frustration but I guess they're just frightened. Things will get better, you will both get used to this different situation. The bills will have to wait until POA is organised. Find time for yourself when you can. Always here to chat. Lx


2 of 5 posts

Cocaine has taken my boy ! by

Hi Kk1590, Welcome to the forum, im sorry to read your story and about your son's addiction. I usually post on the Theresa thread as we are all Mums of sons struggling with addictions. We are all too aware of this familiar cycle. It shakes families to the core. It consumes our loved ones and turns them into a person we don't know any more. Please know that you are not alone in this, others will give you advice and support or even if you just want to vent. The forum also has advice and the Icarus trust posts here too. There's nothing that we as parents can do really, until they themselves realise they have a problem and want to seek help. CA and AA meetings are a good place to start. In the meantime, take care of yourself and any others in the family. Stay strong Lx

1 of 2 posts

Advice needed by

Hi JB London, welcome to the forum. If you read Danman83 posts he is a person in recovery. He's very supportive and gives out lots of good advice. Relapses can happen unfortunately but this is common i believe. Click onto share your story and just scroll back until you see his posts. My son is addicted to alcohol and cocaine and every day is a battle for him. I'm so glad that you're seeking help. For your sake and fir your loved ones sake. Stay strong Lx

Cocaine and guilt by

Hi all, welcome to the forum. I would say that you've both had enough of this horrible evil drug and are ready to fight your addiction to it. My son has cocaine and alcohol addictions, the alcohol triggers the need for cocaine apparently. He's currently clean, but every day is a battle for him. But he knows what the alternative is..... Please seek advice and support from the homepage and the Icarus trust and join AA and CA meetings which are frequent, local and daily. My son's lifestyle has had a terrible effect on our family, we feel that our lives are on hold. Please try to stop before it gets much worse. One of the members of the group has recently lost her son to this evil drug. It begins and ends with the addicted person. Stay strong and think of the effect it's having on your health and your families. Lx

1 of 3 posts

Mum died 4 years ago and I’m still confused by

Hi Tigmemke I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. Addiction takes so many lives and so many families like yourself having to deal with the aftermath. I'm not an expert but I think perhaps that it was a sudden phone call with the sad news, you are still in a state of shock, even after 4 years. In the UK there is a grief counselling service called Cruse who support people like yourself. I believe that she loved you but the cruelness of addiction causes them to act selfish and have no empathy. Usually they will lash out to those who are close to them. My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions and he told me that it makes you selfish and uncaring. They will only care about themselves and their next drink/fix. I believe deep down inside she loved you, but something in her past has caused her to drink to forget or blot it out. My son was told that most addicts have a deep rooted problem and the drink or drugs help them to deal with it. Possibly this might have been case with your mum. Please look after yourself and seek help confide in a close friend or relative. Someone close should know how you're feeling, or see your doctor. Please look after yourself in the meantime. Lx

My son and cocaine by

Hi Kate1 I can feel the sadness and anxiety in your words. It's a horrible feeling, I have this feeling every month on his payday. My son also gets his wages end of every month and I dread the weekends. This is the hardest time for them. My son has been okay since his last relapse 3or 4 weeks ago. He is in his own flat. The deposit was paid by an inheritance, I was so relieved when he moved out over 3 years ago. We knew he was making bad choices but didn't realise the extent of it all. The huge drug debt, and debt to loan companies. We amalgamated all the debt, we paid it off, now he pays it back to us interest free every month. You can never fully relax with the situation, I feel on edge a lot of the time , as does my husband . He would never be able to move back here if he lost the house. It would affect me and my hubby's health and well-being. So I just hope and pray every day that he gets the strength to fight his addiction and not give into temptation. Perhaps if you spoke to one of the counsellors at Icarus trust they could put your mind at ease? I think that's my next step if my son deteriorates. Keep posting here as it helps to speak to others in similar situations. Try to find time to switch off and enjoy the weekend. Take care ❤ Lx

by Kate1

4 of 18 posts

Son using for over 20 years is he ever going to stop by

Hi Scairy, try not to give up hope. There are many success stories here too. My son joined AA and CA meetings and did them regularly, much better in person than online he says. He managed to stay clean almost 6 months, he managed 3 months before that. The fellowship are great, so supportive and helpful he has met many contacts through it. It does help speaking to others here in similar situations, you don't feel so alone. Many times you can't speak to family or friends for fear of being judged. In the meantime look after yourself, whatever makes you relax or happy. Take care and keep posting here to chat. Lx

2 of 4 posts

Recovery, hope and prayers by

Hi Wagtail, We have spoken previously. I'm glad your son is finally getting the support and advice he needs. More especially as he's ex marine. I think and pray often for us all on this website and hope our boys will see the light and turn their lives around. Helping others is a good step towards recovery. I look forward to hearing his progress, yes, we are all victims of these terrible and destructive addictions. I hope and pray that life improves for all on this forum. It's good to hear positive news. Take care of you too ❤ Lxx


1 of 3 posts

Feeling like I’m a bad mum - Sons cocaine habit went unnoticed by me by

As you read this, look at the dark blue area above, click on ' share your story ' it will bring up several pages of stories, look for the one headed Theresa. Yes, it's sad but they are oblivious to this until they seek help through AA or CA. My son was recently almost 6 months clean and relapsed, I was upset, but he was affected by it more I think, they can relapse several times. Lx

by Asadmum

2 of 8 posts

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