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Posts by Lookingforhope


11 posts in 8 threads

Partners/parents of addicts- have you accessed support for your mental health? by

Hi there! I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. Your story really resonates with me, as, like you, I am living with someone in early recovery. Initially when I found out about his hidden cocaine use, I contacted Adfam and they arranged for me to speak to someone via Zoom. This was a massive help as I had somewhere safe to vent my feelings towards my partner without it all coming out in pent up anger and frustration with the whole situation. I also found a drug specialist therapist and we attend couples therapy together, so that when I do have things that he needs to hear or that I need to say, we can do it in a safe place for both of us. It also helps to hear that your feelings are valid, I think both for me to hear and my partner to hear too. I hope this helps, and that you do reach out and get some help for yourself. It is so hard to deal with the reality of addiction and recovery too… looking after yourself has to be a priority

1 of 2 posts

Wife of a cocaine addict with young children by

Hi, Yes, we are doing couples counselling, as well as him doing his own counselling and attending CA. It’s exhausting keeping on top of it all, but I hope it works out for the best. I’ve taken control of our finances and put a plan in place so that I am completely financially independent if I need to be. I completely understand the going between being supportive to angry. It’s just so hard. I think like them, it’s best just to take things one day at a time… I agree, transparency is the only way that recovery works and trust can be rebuilt. I’m keeping everything crossed for you X

2 of 4 posts

Boyfriends cocaine addiction... what do I do? by

I wish I had some advice to offer, I’m in a similar position to you and struggling. It sounds positive that he is taking steps to get help. My partner attends CA meetings which he finds helpful. There are a few posts on here from people in recovery with links to YouTube videos and books that might help too. Ultimately your loved one needs to want to get help for himself. It really is an awful situation to be in and I feel your pain.

How to get past the past by

Hi all, I’m hoping to get some advice from people who have moved on with a loved one in recovery. The short version is that my partner has recently been found out for a 5 year cocaine habit and is now working really hard on recovery. I had no knowledge of his drug use, and we now have two small children. I am doing my best to put it behind me, but I’m not sure how to forgive the deceit, betrayal and move on from what he has done. Is it even possible? Is it worth trying? Thanks for taking the time to read and any advice would be greatly appreciated

by Mb9345

1 of 2 posts

Boyfriend with cocaine addiction by

Hi Betsy! You are in the right place. It’s great that he wants to get help and that he has been honest with you about it. My partner has been using in secret for five years now, and is currently working hard at sobriety. Some things that have helped is attending CA meetings, individual counselling and some podcasts and books on addiction. He has also completely changed his routine to include more exercise and not drinking or being in a setting that he would have used in. It isn’t easy to love someone who has lied, but only you can say whether you want to move forward with him or not.

by Maxine

1 of 63 posts

Do cocaine addicts change ? by

You are not the issue here. It is an awful disease and a vile drug. A common thing I am reading is that we can’t do the work for our addicted loves one, which is so hard on us. They really have to want to get help. I would say if you are staying with your partner, for your own sanity set some clear boundaries and be prepared to stick with them. Coming on here has helped me a lot, it can be so isolating dealing with an addicted partner

Cocaine Addict Partner by

From all my reading, the blaming you sounds like an emotional relapse. It’s where the addicted person lashes out to create a climate where they can justify using again. It’s so hard on the ones who love them. I really hope for both of you that things get better. I would recommend looking after yourself, keeping calm and offering any support that you feel able to. I recognise the exhaustion and emotional turmoil of recovery too. I’ve found this forum really helps too

Is recovery possible? by

Hi! Thank you for your response, and I can completely see a lot of this making sense now. I think I’d worked hard to think that the problems I saw were a natural consequence of a young family and full time jobs, but I can see now that it was the drugs affecting our lives without me knowing what was really going on. I really am trying to understand and it helps to know that I’m not alone. I want what is best for our children and for him too, which is obviously not drugs. I hope that he can work as hard as you have to realise that a drug free life is the only way forward from here

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