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Posts by Lou1321

joined

27 posts in 10 threads

Advice please :) by

Hey Chelsie I’m not sure what your answer is but do not feel guilty about your email. Having a loved one as an addict is truly horrible and what you told him was the truth about how you feel and what you went through. While my son was in rehab, we had a family therapy day, part of the process was to tell your loved one how you felt when they were so crazy/angry/abusive/manipulative towards you but follow it up with the positivity and why you love them. It is the addiction that is horrible not the person. You must do what is right for you, but don’t feel guilty for letting him know what his addiction has put you through, he will probably feel shame and self loathing but hopefully he can continue his path of recovery. It is an emotional roller coaster for everyone. I talk through personal experience but you must do what you feel is right for you.

by Chelsie

1 of 4 posts

Hope this helps at least 1 person by

Hi Mikeyb, I read your post a few days ago and it is so powerful that it drew me back again today. I am the mother of a cocaine addict and he like yourself is a wonderful human being but the cocaine turns people into something they are not. I feel very strongly that more should be done with our youth whilst they are at school to show them the negative effects this has. Have you ever thought about talking to youngsters? because your passion shines through this message. I have the utmost respect for all of you that try to battle your addictions, no matter what they are. Be true and honest and love yourself for who you are, hopefully one day you will feel love and happiness again without it being artificially induced. Take care xx

by Mikeyb

1 of 12 posts

Advice and support needed by

Hi Bev123 and Hox Don't feel alone or guilty. My ex husband is a gambling addict and so I left him 5 years ago, we had been together for nearly 30 years. The lies, control, manipulation and turning it all round to be my fault took it's toll and I left him. I wanted our 4 children to grow up in a more stable environment and not have the fear of having to move house again to pay off more debts. Their father is still in the lives of the children and he does love them but he is still gambling and 2 years ago declared himself bankrupt. I literally woke up one day and thought I can no longer live like this. I don't regret that decision for one minute. Nine years ago my son (who is now 24) started dabbling in drugs, by the age of 19 he was addicted to cocaine, weed and pills. He lost his job, his GF, his friends, he was having seizures and was so painfully thin, he was out of control, he was angry, sad, depressed, euphoric... I never knew which one he would be or if he would live another day. When he was 21 he went into rehab for a month followed by 5 months living in Spain with a very dear friend of mine... I was so happy for him, I had my son back. He moved back to the UK and started working again, he regained his driving license and I was so proud of him...but the lure was too much, things started going missing again, and so it began, he has never been how he was before rehab but I think he is better at disguising it. He stole from me a week ago but says it wasn't him, I know it was. He rang me this morning and told me he is going back to his CA meetings, that he is feeling much better and enjoying some parts of his days again... he is trying to make me believe he is clean and honestly I don't know. I do know the turmoil and the day to day never knowing of what is going to happen to day world that you both live in. BUT addiction is not your fault! Our loved ones have at some point chosen to use or chosen to drink or chosen to gamble, unfortunately our loved ones have addictive personalities and they have been consumed in it. BUT nothing we have done has made them that way. The only advice I can give is DO NOT ENABLE ! they will never hit rock bottom until they have nothing, I know that it is very scary and goes against everything in a your body to not nurture, care and love for your loved ones but you are effectively buying them drugs... I had it spelt out to me after years of enabling both my son and ex. Take car both of you and look after yourselves xx

by

1 of 13 posts

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