Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Louise1983


3 posts in 2 threads

Am I crazy? by

Addicts are very good at using our insecurities against us and using it to there advantage. We are not the problem they are, I'm afraid when you are with an addict you take on all there issues, you become there saviour because you think you can bring them back from the darkness but with this you lose yourself. You do things that you would never have done before you lie for them you protect them it doesnt matter what they do we forgive them. It's a form of grooming it's taken me months to get my head around this, it's very hard to expect this but when you do things will get easier. Listen you are not ugly addicts have a way of making us feel like that because they are on a path of destruction and what happens we go along for the ride, I've been living that life for 5 years 4 children, Rehab twice and still years on nothing has changed. Finally I see it for what it is, I have seen the light and I know now he is not the person I believed he was.i love him unconditionally and what for! Hes used me, all I feel now is hatred towards him especially when I look at my new born baby. Hes missed so much of there lives, i never had closure. But I will! I'm going to hit him where it hurts, Unless they want to help themselves nothing we change, as for the situation he got you is awful, you have to look at it this way you have had a lucky escape and you have no children together. It's very difficult because those scares will always be with you. It will get easier it's time and time is a healer. Dont ever put yourself down you need to find yourself again and talk. I speak to a therapist each week its helped so much especially because she was a drugs councillor she has put so much in perspective for so grateful to her. Slowly I feel better, but I'm still so hurt the pain will go, 4 months ago I was a mess now I can look in the mirror and not see the person I disliked so much. Just time! Thankyou so much yeah hes a little darling so good at night luckily. As I'm going back to work next week so I will need my sleep lol. One other thing be knid to yourself. Xx

2 of 7 posts

Does it get easier? by

I was with an alcholic and a heroin addict for 5 years made me all the promises in the world and all this man has ever done is taken from me, hes left me in serious debt.this man has mentally abused me for years, but he gets to move on with his life with a new partner, while hes abandoned his children and left me pregnant. This man has destroyed me I have been seeing a therapist for months, I feel I'm slowly getting there. In the last couple of weeks I have been feeling very upset, I think its because I've just had his baby, I have never felt so alone, even with the support of my family. But then I look at my baby and I think how could someone turn there back on something so precious. I have not even told him his son has been born, he does not have a right to know. I look at my children and I think to myself I have the best of him in front of him, hes a complete and utter mess.Hes blocked me on everything, because mummy told him to. I think it's very sad he does everything mummy tells him. I have been there for him for years I've taken everything hes thrown at me. I have forgiven him time and time again for things hes done to me. The funny thing is the women hes with has a child he does not support the children he has with me. I work full time, I paid for everything I just feel so used.x

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