Alcoholic mother by New beginningsSo here's my story... I first remember my mum starting to change at around age 12. It was a gradual thing. Mood swings, violent tempers, smashing up things, sleeping all day, calling me every name under the sun and occasionally hitting me. Then as time went on I started noticing hidden empty bottles of vodka in the bread bin etc. This went on for many years, when I was around age 17 she got rushed to hospital because her body was shutting down, she would cough up blood, she had severe jaundice because her organs were failing. She nearly died basically. It's something I still remember vividly. Fast forward to today and she's had many ups and downs - relapses as well as brief sober periods. But now, even with suffering from chronic pain, she had seemed to have found a new lease of life. She is an active member of her church community, she is about to start volunteering, she is managing to get out and about more, always meeting new people. So for a good two years she was in a good place... Until this week where my sister had informed me (yet again) that she was unconscious at home after downing a bottle of wine alongside strong pain killers. She cracked her head on the floor and was in a bad way. My sister called for an ambulance and she's now recovering in hospital. This has happened many times, sporadically. I managed to speak to my mum on the phone tonight. We had a real heart to heart, probably the first time we've ever done that. I told her some home truths about what she's doing to all of us and that we're always here to support her no matter what. I got her version of events, what triggered her and what's been going on for her recently. It's just killing me inside because she has tried every form of help out here. Counselling, anti-depressants, alcohol support groups etc. Nothing seems to stick. It just hurts me to know that I can't be by her side every time she had a trigger moment, which for her, can be brought in from anxiety/depression. I know I'm doing as much as I can, in the sense of always being at the other end of the phone and checking in on her. But it doesn't stop the hurt of wanting to help her... But not knowing how. ????