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Talk about your experiences with others.
joined 9 March 2021
178 posts in 29 threads
Well done, you will have plenty to keep you busy now then.
I agree with dodo, have you spoken to your son about the issues it’s resulting in for you?
Has he got any desire to sort himself out now you have already paid all his debts for him? Of course as his parent you are going to have his back but is he also going to help himself as it’s a shame it’s affecting your relationship.
How’s it going Dan?
Sorry to hear you are going through this. It sounds very similar to other addictions, my husband is like a completely different person when he takes cocaine or other drugs. He has done things I wouldn’t have thought he would do such as owe out all his wages, taking risks being on these substances while at work in a job he loves and he actually tried so hard to get this job but he would risk it because the addiction is so strong . It certainly is like another person but I guess that’s where he has to come to realisation that it isn’t another person- it is him who’s made those choice and if he wants to fix it I wouldn’t have thought it would be healthy to avoid the blame. I would think it would be hard to move past this if he genuinely thinks he doesn’t need to take any responsibility for his actions. Wishing you luck, will be thinking of you.
My husband has always smoked cannabis since I’ve known him over 10 years. When I met him I didn’t know but he told me a few weeks in. It wasn’t something I worried about i just thought Its to not to do with me and I knew lots of people did it, I thought it was something people did to enjoy. However over the years I’ve learned that it is something he’s used to deal with stress so as times gone on he’s been trying other things for the same purpose cocaine, MDMA and now alcohol. Now every day he smokes cannabis and can drink more than what I would say is a reasonable amount and cocaine almost every day. If you are at an early stage and you think you can help it might be worth seeing if you can get any help for the root cause of it, would he be open to trying counselling or meditation for whatever stresses or anxieties he is self medicating for. If I could turn back time that’s what I would have tried before it got so bad with my husband.
I think it’s probably sensible that you don’t want to leave your child there alone.
It is hard things to talk with friends about but you can always come on here and someone will listen.
Thanks for sharing James. I think we all have feelings of regret when we lose someone. We all feel we could have done more but that time has passed and now we have to work towards the future . It’s good to put your feelings into words to let it all out.
Lol I’m So glad I’m not the only one who questioned if their partner is secretly gay. I have asked mine that also as there doesn’t appear to be anything obvious that he’s running or trying to escape from. I know lots of people with addictions have been through a lot of trauma but he had a good upbringing and his family are so involved and always help him out.
I thought is he gay or is he having an affair as all the secretive behaviour.
Sorry to hear your having such a hard time. Can you get any help carers or anything in for your dad? Will social services not help considering there’s several vulnerable adults there. It’s nice that you want to help but with your own issues it sounds like it might be too much and you probably need to get someone else in to take the pressure off you and focus on getting some help for your own problems. Do you think your mothers tougher on you because she knows you are capable of sorting yourself out whereas she sees your brother as beyond help so just leaves him to it.
Hope you are ok.
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