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Posts by Notmyrealname

joined

243 posts in 40 threads

My husband and cocaine by

As Sal said, dealers will let them get in a real mess before they stop borrowing them more, and the user can borrow off several people once they are socialising in those kind of circles. My husband owed an amount to a few so none of them would give him anymore but then he bumped in to an old acquaintance one day who he then started a tab with aswell. When they’ve maxed out their tabs with all the contacts they have that’s when they start feeling sorry for themselves because they can’t get any more and start promising to change. They’ll say anything to get someone else to pay off their mistakes.

by Smile1

9 of 637 posts

How to be yourself again when your Partners’s an addict by

Mine has also got in to serious debt several times and always managed to spin a sob story to someone new to manage to borrow money to get out of it. I thought he was heavily drinking on nights out, a few years ago, he was out a lot. Turned out he was taking cocaine and the nights out were running into the hundreds. Then he stopped going out I was pleased as by then he had told me what money was going on. Only then he started taking it at work, it turned into an every day thing. I can’t believe his employer hasn’t done anything as there is a whole bunch of them taking it daily at work and you can tell from looking at them that they’re on something.

14 of 32 posts

Sister recovering addict by

Obviously all people are different and I guess some people are never sorry for their actions but when my husbands recovering even if he’s only done a day he will feel so sorry and guilty for things he’s done., and in our situation the guiltless, no consequences, it’s all someone else’s fault attitude usually means he’s done it at some point that day or talking about negative things that have happened he’s usually finding an excuse to do it (I don’t know whether it’s consciously or sub consciously but I’ve also seen other people mention about them talking themselves in to justifying why they can do it).

2 of 5 posts

Do I stay with addicted husband? by

I couldn’t help but feel it might be a bit soon to have a go about it as if it’s the beginning of the process he might not have plucked up the courage to tell you the truth he’s just coming to terms with what he’s been doing himself, i would give it more time, but then I noticed it’s been a few weeks since you posted and hopefully he has owned up to some things after time has passed, the only thing I doubt us knowing the truths will give us much comfort. i think it must be more comforting the fact that he started the process and started identifying his wrongs. I think you would have to have an open mind going ahead if your trying to make a go of it.

by Jamesb

1 of 4 posts

Why can't I cut him off by

It’s so complicated isn’t it. In a sense he’s not doing a bad job as they don’t know the wrong he does. He’s at work a lot anyway so when he’s able and in a right frame of mind he gets involved with them and they think he’s great lol. And when he isn’t it’s easily blamed on work. Maybe when they’re older it’s going to get more difficult for him to cover up. It really is like it’s only me that it affects as I’m the only one who notices what he’s up to, makes you feel like you’re going mad some times.

20 of 50 posts

Anyone in recovery who's lost parents on here? by

Hi James, I’ve lost both my parents, one 3 years ago and one at the beginning of this year, it takes time to grieve and as you have delayed the grieving process it’s going to take you longer. it is natural and it will make you stronger when you get through this. The feelings of grief will slowly start to feel less strong but of course it’s going to feel very strange for you from the difference of having felt so numb before. You can’t change the past and we all have regrets of varying extents but what you can do when you feel ready is to work on the future on day at a time and instead of feeling guilty that you didn’t make the most of the last few years, work on the next few and be the best version of you. Good luck.

1 of 6 posts

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