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Posts by Notmyrealname


178 posts in 29 threads

Husband blames all bad behaviour on alcohol by

Sorry to hear you are going through this. It sounds very similar to other addictions, my husband is like a completely different person when he takes cocaine or other drugs. He has done things I wouldn’t have thought he would do such as owe out all his wages, taking risks being on these substances while at work in a job he loves and he actually tried so hard to get this job but he would risk it because the addiction is so strong . It certainly is like another person but I guess that’s where he has to come to realisation that it isn’t another person- it is him who’s made those choice and if he wants to fix it I wouldn’t have thought it would be healthy to avoid the blame. I would think it would be hard to move past this if he genuinely thinks he doesn’t need to take any responsibility for his actions. Wishing you luck, will be thinking of you.


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Alcohol dependant? by

My husband has always smoked cannabis since I’ve known him over 10 years. When I met him I didn’t know but he told me a few weeks in. It wasn’t something I worried about i just thought Its to not to do with me and I knew lots of people did it, I thought it was something people did to enjoy. However over the years I’ve learned that it is something he’s used to deal with stress so as times gone on he’s been trying other things for the same purpose cocaine, MDMA and now alcohol. Now every day he smokes cannabis and can drink more than what I would say is a reasonable amount and cocaine almost every day. If you are at an early stage and you think you can help it might be worth seeing if you can get any help for the root cause of it, would he be open to trying counselling or meditation for whatever stresses or anxieties he is self medicating for. If I could turn back time that’s what I would have tried before it got so bad with my husband.


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family a mess by

Sorry to hear your having such a hard time. Can you get any help carers or anything in for your dad? Will social services not help considering there’s several vulnerable adults there. It’s nice that you want to help but with your own issues it sounds like it might be too much and you probably need to get someone else in to take the pressure off you and focus on getting some help for your own problems. Do you think your mothers tougher on you because she knows you are capable of sorting yourself out whereas she sees your brother as beyond help so just leaves him to it.

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