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Posts by Pheonix


6 posts in 2 threads

Good news with my partner! by

A while ago i posted about my partner being an alcoholic and his friends were inviting him out everyday and his parents buy him alcohol everyday. He told me he wanted help cutting down, so i did as much as i could. We started as just 3 days a week he wouldn't drink and then 4 days no drink, didn't want to just cut it out straight away because i know he wouldn't be able to do it. His stopped seeing the main friend who invited him out every night, well he sees him once or twice a month. He is talking with an old friend who just moved back who wants to help him too so they exercise together. Not sure if his spoken to his parents yet, but even we went out for dinner and he got a soft drink instead (his never done that in the 2 years i have known him) even when his not with me, I heard him talking with his friend on the phone, he hasn't been drinking every time his been on his own- i'm hoping its true. I'm hoping he doesn't go back to how he was, is there any tips or advice I can keep him at this point until his ready to cut back another day? I'm so glad him friend is actually helping him too, makes it easier than me being on my own. I know 3-4 days a week no drinking don't sound like cutting back that much but it's better than everyday :) to me and him, its an achievement.

by Holton

1 of 2 posts

I want to help my partner but don't know how by

His admitted it's a problem, he tried to see a doctor apparently but they sent him for ultra sound to check his liver but he never turned up. I feel controlling cause i'm telling him what to do. We want to move in together (currently both live with out parents) and it would be easier for him to cut down, the area we first decided to move is where all his drinking friends are so i picked another area which is nicer and away from my past too (honestly i was a an addict- not alcohol or drugs, so want to get away from all those people i might bump into, my partner helped me through that when we was just friends) currently i don't work so i have nothing to distract me from overthinking. He said his tried hypnosis before, not sure whether to believe him. I'm seeing him this weekend, so worried about bringing everything up because its like a circle. I know his been drinking all week and tomorrow he don't have work, i'm not seeing him but i won't be surprised if his drinking with his friends again. Don't know whether to invite him over. I don't mean to make excuses for him but is it possible its harder for him because he quit drugs 3 years ago, then quit gambling 2 years ago, trying to quit smoking and cut down on alcohol. Would it be too hard on him if i kept trying to talk to him and push? There was some things said that i'm not sure what to make of when he was last with me and drinking like his "not sure if he wants to be with me anymore" and i got angry cause literally the night before that he spent the night with me so i felt a little used. His never like that when he hasn't been drinking but i'm also scared of bringing that up. We are usually very sexually active but don't know where to go after him saying that :/ do i ask if he meant it, when he hasn't been drinking. Sorry if its to much information but i literally have no friends and i'm so alone trying to get every detail out before it stays locked up in my mind going in circles. I thought this was a forever relationship and we even had a special 'how we met' story but sometimes when i see him drink i blame myself, have i done enough? am i enabling him? how do i speak about it delicately again? Could the pushing make him drink more? His mum does know but still buys him drink everyday and if he runs out she will give him her wine. I barely talk to his parents about anything because i'm quite shy. Even when he overdosed on drugs and was in hospital they didn't do anything (his ex gave him the drugs and they just let him go back to her)

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