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Posts by Purpleheart

joined

84 posts in 15 threads

Will I ever trust him? by

Morning ladies , Mine can look for blame all he likes but he still refuses to seek professional help that’s what he should be addressing first off :/. Fazey you must be shattered - emotional adrenaline whilst he causes the chaos and then when it ends the exhaustion sweeps over doesn’t it - does good for treats though like hair :) I promise myself little treats like that every so often just to get by- helps massively - hope your time off helps you recover . Bella hope yours is going ok too. Catch you soon - take care xxx

by fayzey

23 of 87 posts

The merry go round from hell by

James , What an insight . I’m glad you took the time to write that thank you very much , if I didn’t know who had wrote it - it could of come from my OH. I hear what your saying and I feel A little bit ashamed actually because I’m hoping for an instant fix ( even though I know that’s not at all realistic ). I’m just impatient, extremely tired and not at all trusting . It doesn’t help that he’s wanting to borrow money from our assets now to resolve the money issues he’s caused whilst taking that stuff ( gambling went hand in hand ) and I’ll be honest I can’t cope with anymore trouble on my head or being wound into something else after everything he’s put us through already . part of me wants to support him and look after him - have him back the person we knew before this , but the other part can’t see a future with all the deceit and the constant ‘detective ‘ work and the finally nail will he fall properly and go back to the serious using and tricks the imposter that’s lived here for 2 years nearly . Right now we are not even a proper couple just cohabiting , we often can’t discuss anything without all hell breaking loose and yes it sounds selfish - but Where’s my support, happiness and joy - I can’t have any because I recognise he can only deal with himself right now . . I can’t make any plans because I really don’t know where we are going to be any further than a weekend !. It’s hard , I wish it on no one . I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like from his side - I suppose I will never understand that . James thanks again - it really helps to hear it from the other side even though it’s hard to swallow some of it . Look after yourself - stay strong . Thanks for making a difference X

5 of 13 posts

Spouse of an addict by

KStar , your words are comforting to me that this end result is possible although I never wanted to “ lose” my OH, but the coke has already done that - he has allowed it . I plan to separate too but I’m not just strong enough to start the ball rolling yet . . When I asked him to leave for the few weeks I felt peace - I could focus on me which meant I was a better calmer mummy -I could of happy carried on like that I think too , and even though he is back and we are only living under a roof at the moment- no relationship . I can’t muster energy to do anything as my thoughts are taken by him and his addiction every single day . DHAC I know exactly what you mean - I carry resentment and anger for him although this man deep down not on drugs is a lovely one - this is what makes me want to look after him still and feel pain at what he’s done to himself. But I can’t stay with him because of this - everyday and every week it’s just hell . I’m numb to it now and can’t ever think how we would go back to being US even if he did kick his habit , I think I would be forever paranoid and on edge ☹️X

by kstar25

2 of 13 posts

OH relapsing ? My paranoia or has he :( by

Thanks both , Hi Mammy hope your doing ok ?. He stayed out last night and came back today . Today he’s in vulnerable mode saying sorry , doing what he can around the house and with the kids . But when it comes to time where we should be discussing us .. he’s fell asleep like normal brushing it all under the carpet AGAIN . My family are now saying I need to leave as there’s no hope . And I know this for sure nearly but I have a Glimmer of hope still regardless of the lies and deceit and he keeps saying it’s work that has pushed him to this using everyday . I just think of him as he was before and it’s caving my head and so I’m not being realistic. I wouldn’t feel like this if I hadn’t of bought into his vow of sobriety last week .I feel weak now and not ready for change but I’m sure things are not going to change with him anytime soon and I need to make the first step to go. I don’t want to but I know I’m stuck in this rut and he keeps taking me for the ride each week for the last year at least . I hated drugs before but I most certainly do now x

I’ve left my husband by

Hello , B8988 I know it’s a long time since you posted your thread along with the other ladies but I’m googling at 5am in the morning with the exact same scenario on my hands at the minute . 18 months I’ve had my husband lying to me , uses everyday saying it’s work stress that causes it , then comes home disengaged with our two young boys and does nothing to help me around the house . Just watches me run myself into the ground in the same cycle . He’s recently gone to the NHS drugs program but I’ve seen absolutely no improvement , the lies are still coming . He’s spending around £900 a month on coke . I am so lonely , fed up and his addiction is tarnishing everyday of my life . I’m stressed around my kids constantly and everyday is another acting role . I see you ladies posted these in 2019 . How are you all now ? Where are you up to in life ? I’m looking for hope I guess - deep down I’m ready to pack in our marriage I think I can’t take much more x

Boyfriend addicted to cocaine and alcohol. by

I’m sorry you are going through this . And this is going to seem harsh what I say but as the poster above said - Run .. for the hills . You can’t build a future with someone who’s wrapped up in this and if you do the rapid ageing will be effecting you too .. you know you won’t be able to trust him and it sounds like he’s no where near the point of being himself get off the stuff or booze. Why put yourself through all that - you deserve so much more you don’t need to settle. Please consider - because if you get further down the line marriage and then kids - it gets really tricky and heartbreaking ( I know this ) much love , sending strength xxxx

1 of 6 posts

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