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Posts by Redfox20

joined

120 posts in 40 threads

5 years in by

Hey, how’s things? Hope your well. That’s good your both willing to sort things out how’s that going? Glad little one is happy is nice for them to see their daddies they have missed out on so much they’re fault but still it’s nice to catch up on missed time. Everything is going well here 7 weeks clean although been out of work he starts a new job next week gets paid in 2 weeks so be interesting to see what happens we have been getting on so well he’s been up most days taking kids to school and been there for me my mum had a stroke last weekend really shook us all up as a family especially me and my sisters she’s okay it was mild she was really lucky she’s on blood thinners rest of her life now though! I’m abit anxious about him getting work but have a good feeling this time don’t know why I told him if he’s in work a month an still clean maybe we can discuss about him coming home. There will be slips ups but it’s how we deal with them & hopefully there isn’t none! He got paid for that job he did a couple weeks ago gave the money to he’s mum to pay a ticket for the van so that’s good. I really hope he sticks to it and we don’t go backwards but as you know it happens so fingers crossed time will tell hopefully he’s home soon! Hope things are good your end xx

36 of 90 posts

I don't know what or how I feel by

Hey Paul, glad things seem to be better between the both of you, I hope it continues. Wow what a scumbag to do that to her and use her vulnerability like that. They probably do that to her an many others it’s disgusting the lives they ruin all for a pound note! I suspect he’s saying all this as he’s lost her custom most likely! I hope she steers clear of him and doesn’t fall for he’s crap and get stuck back in it all. I would maybe suggest she lets things settle down before grassing him up. What these people are capable of or the people above him she needs to be careful that’s for sure. I hope your okay though even through all the madness!

Found out he’s an addict by

Hey, the drugs do numb them so they appear as through they don’t care. They also lack any empathy by continuing to put themselves first even though it’s causing others pain they don’t see this they are blind sighted by the need to find and use their drug of choice. If they are sober they will have moments where they will see what they have done and feel remorse, guilt or shame this makes them then use to feel better it’s a vicious cycle.

by Esta

2 of 10 posts

My ex has been a cocaine addict and now I think he’s cheated by

Hey sorry to high jack your thread here. Hope you're okay, it sounds like you are much better off without him in your life. Sorry to hear he's been cheating on you, it will certainly help you now get the closure that you need and that will feel so good in time that you can move on and you will be happy. It will be tough you will have good and bad days but take each day at a time. Take care of yourself! Xx

by MJ2021

4 of 31 posts

Husband is a crack addict by

Hey, Hope you’re okay. I would like to just say that you have done absolutely the right thing by cutting yourself off from him and changing the locks. As it will only get worse before it will get better and he will only continue to manipulate you or lie to you if he’s in your home. It will also mentally impact you in time as it’s a lot of stress dealing with and living with an addict on a daily basis. Talking to people is key to helping you are in touch with a therapist which is brilliant. Keep to your boundaries and don’t enable him this will only make the addiction worse. My son was 6 when it started happening i would tell him that daddy isn’t very well right now and he needs to get better and sometimes when he’s sick it’s hard for him to be there for us but when he’s well and able he will be there. I also don’t tell my son when he’s coming round or say anything until he’s knocking at the door to see him that way he’s not let down as it’s only me that knew. It’s so hard what to allow if your child is safe seeing their father then contact would be a good thing I know that sometimes pulling them away makes the addict worse they then hit self destruct. There is a limit however if they are high all the time, unable to care for the child and their needs or abusive then contact should be stopped. I think calling everyday is difficult to keep as he will be preoccupied with he’s addiction and needing to use so maybe discuss something more flexible or if he at least calls twice a week to speak with your child. It’s more manageable and your little one is hopefully less likely to be let down by there father. Hope this helps x

by Esta

1 of 10 posts

Never felt so low by

It really does destroy all relationships as once that trust is gone it’s so hard to get it back. It takes a lot of time and hard work on their part to achieve sobriety before they can ever be truly happy in any relationship. It does seem she’s pushing you away, as maybe these past few weeks she’s finally been able to see clearly without the drugs and is most likely ashamed of what she’s done to you. Denial is what they will do they will say your crazy anything to admit they dont have a problem, I think it’s scary admitting to themselves they have lost control. Time will tell if she stays clean but it’s her problem and it’s not something anyone can control only she can. I would just step right back and do your own thing, and what’s meant to be will be. But once you detach you will find that mentally you will feel so much better it will take time but you will!

I really need advice. Is my partner a cocaine addict? by

Hi there hope you’re okay. Personally he sounds like he’s addicted but in serious denial. If you have issued serious ultimatums and he’s still stayed out that’s a red flag as addicts will choose the drug over their family partners children jobs everything, it comes out on top and they can only stop if they want to you cannot force them. They also don’t have to use every day to be an addict if they can’t or won’t stop they are addicted, it’s out of their control. He sounds like he isn’t able to as he uses all night long and binging like that tends to lead into being dependent on it. My ex started out the same way now we’re not together me leaving with the kids wasn’t enough he’s still using. Our newborn daughter after two boys wasn’t enough. I would sit him down tell him how you feel and to prove he can stop if he makes excuses to go out doesn’t come home or goes and gets on it without asking you then he’s got a problem. Hope this helps I like you asked this question over a year ago i am much further in now I wish I could say it gets easier but protect yourself have boundaries and don’t enable him. Hope you’re okay xx

by Res19

1 of 3 posts

I’m messed up and confused by

Yeah it’s a tough one you don’t want to hurt her & leading her on isn’t good either you already know this as you go back and forth with it already. I hope you can sort it out and stay civil with her for your child. We never know what can happen in life but we can control our own happiness and outcomes by making good choices and drugs don’t allow this as you well know. And yeah it’s an escape I get that different people have different reasons as to why they use etc my ex says boredom but I think he’s not addressing the real reason. Hope you’re okay mate!

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