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Posts by Salboo

joined

5 posts in 3 threads

Self Esteem Issues by

Hi all, just wondering if anyone has got any advice for self esteem issues? Both my parents were alcoholics and with all the horrible stuff that goes with it, I have become an adult with quite deep self esteem issues. I have spoken to a counsellor which has helped, and I feel I have some techniques to help me when I am not feeling great about myself (working out, music, listing things I like about myself) and a lot of the time these things help. However sometimes I just feel so bad about myself and I don’t believe all the things I thought I liked about myself. It’s almost like I am 2 people, sometimes I think wow I’m great, Iv dealt with so much adversity and made it through and then other times I think I’m literally the most pathetic and undesirable person. I really want to stop feeling like that. I know everyone has bad days but I treat myself so badly and beat myself up about things and I just need ways to improve my confidence and self esteem. Any one know what I mean and can offer advice? Thanks

1 of 1 post

No Support Network by

Over the past couple of years I have realised I have no support network at all... I have cut my alcoholic mum out of my life and although I do live a fulfilling life (I enjoy my job and have a good social life) I don’t have anyone I can lean on or talk to... I am not close to any of my family and many of them don’t speak to me anymore after cutting my mum out, I have one cousin that I am very close to and can talk to as she understands and has seen all the stuff Iv been through but I don’t want to over burden her. She is always there for me but I feel like I’m always leaning on her and it’s not fair. I have recently received counselling which has helped massively, but that is coming to an end now and while I have learnt a lot of techniques to keep me from feeling overwhelmed, I still feel like I need to talk to people about my situation. I have found that many ‘friends’ don’t really want to hear about my problems and tend to back away when I do open up. My Counsellor has encouraged me to talk to others but this isn’t working. Does anyone else feel like they have no support network and what do you do to overcome this? I am feeling very alone at the moment. Thanks :)

Crack Addicted Mum by

Thank u Liberty and I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through similar with your partner. I totally understand the feeling of grief. I am definitely going through the same. I always a say this woman is not my mum, the drugs and alcohol have made her into someone else entirely. There is an amazing woman under there somewhere but I haven’t seen her in such a long time and don’t know when (or if) I’ll see her again and I totally would describe this feeling as grieving. I spoke to someone online a few weeks ago in a similar situation to me but whose mum actually died of a heroin overdose a few years ago. She said when her mum passed away she felt numb and didn’t even cry. Her therapist said that was because she had grieved whilst her mum was still alive and had been preparing for the death. That is definitely something I can relate to and I’m sure you can too. This explains why I feel such dispair and sadness. I understand what you say about the inconsistency of care and sense of rejection... one minute they’re sorry and want to be around you the next they reject you and couldn’t care less. I know it’s the addiction that makes them do this but it’s so cruel. It hurts so much. I dint know about you but my mums addictions have caused me so many mental health problems myself. I have so many issues that I relate to those experiences. When I look at the list of typical attributes of an adult child of an addict I tick every box. I know of a few people that have managed to get and stay clean, but like you say it has to come from the person and our hands are tied... it’s a horrible position to be in. I hope your boyfriend manages to break the cycle and that you can find peace xxx

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