Wife is a secret drinker by GopherHi Gopher, Tough situation. First off let me say you are not being nasty or selfish in anyway. I don't have a correct answer for you but it sounds like you've already made up your mind. or at the very least you defo need a break from your wife without the pressures of her drinking. It's hard to watch people we once knew slip away especially when they are in front of us. Maybe take a few days off, or a daytrip somewhere (may be difficult in lockdown) but somewhere you can clear your mind and gather your thoughts maybe, come up with an action plan? When my partner was in denial, I found spending time with him and doing activities (i.e walks in the park, painting, playing board games) really helped us to reconnect. I wasn't bothering him about his behavior and he was distracted from drinking even if it was a short time. Hope this helps.