Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by Sunny77

joined

14 posts in 6 threads

How do you build trust again? by

It does honey, it’s hard to understand especially when like us you just can’t see the attraction in doing something that is ruining your health & life . I just don’t have an addictive personality , so I had to do a lot of research to understand it. And I’m glad I did, or I would have just thought that this was something that would pass . Just focus on you, and your children and do what’s right for them which is exactly what you are doing now . The hardest thing to do is walk away from somebody you love because it’s the right thing for them and you . Xxx

2 of 4 posts

Boyfriends cocaine use and drinking by

Firstly you didn’t deserve it … and secondly all this is coming from a person with a mind that is no longer controlled by him … it sounds like some weird science film doesn’t it . But cocaine rewrites the brain and what you are left with now is a mind that had one purpose to use cocaine , feed its ego , manipulative and lie . He won’t care what he says of course the old him would probably be devastated but this version lacks empathy , it’s the coldest most harming part of it . The first thing you need to do is stop your own toxic thoughts about yourself . You are enough You tried everything What you are doing now is helping him although you don’t think you are . Don’t try and understand why he says what he says or does what he does , you won’t ever so don’t try . Surround yourself with people who build you up , write yourself a sticky with positive affirmations that you see in the morning . I am enough I am strong I am a good person I deserve better This too shall pass . It happened to me and it is happening to lots of other amazing women. I wish there was a way I could contact you directly it’s going to be tough but you can and will get through this we all will .

4 of 8 posts

Partner addicted to cocaine by

My husband also went to live with his mum until in the end she kicked him out after the police were called by my son after he rang him saying he was going to end his life, he was supposed to say a few weeks 4 months later he was still there, he manages to convince her that he isn't using and I have tried time and time again to try and make her look for the signs but I guess it's denial. This may seem weird but I get to the point when I can envisage the funeral and people upset and my standing up and saying " why didn't you just believe me" Masters of Manipulation, Like Redfox says you want to help them so badly but you just can't reach them. My husband says he will get help as he wants his family back but I do not see him getting it , his behavior does not match his words in the slightest it is just one large game of deception. It took me years to get here and my mental health suffered as a result , when I look back now I wished I had seen sense sooner , but like addicts having to reach rock bottom I think we also have to hit our own rock bottom to have the strength to stop running into a burning building and getting burnt trying to save somebody who we know will run straight back in again. What we thought was supporting was actually helping them to get further away from us. x

3 of 12 posts

Relapsed by

The person you loved is no longer the person you are dealing with they are gone, you might get them back you might not but don't harm you or your child by trying.. you won't win this battle. I am 48 a kind loving caring woman who works very hard in a high profile job , I am funny , popular , loyal to the very end and a good mum and a part time model most blokes would probably say I am a real catch. Our son is kind intelligent, never been in trouble and we have a lovely home in a nice village. This isn't me bigging myself up this is me telling you that he had everything and it wasn't enough so please do not let them make you think ... if I was a bit more this or a bit more that they will change ... they won't .. you will and not for the better. My heart goes out to all wives and husbands living this perpetual nightmare , your stories are all like looking in a mirror. I have shared my story because I have gained strength and incite by reading all of yours. One day our loved ones might find their way back to us, but please try and see where you might be enabling them because you aren't helping you are actually making it easier and handing them the knife to slash you with. It has taken me a long time to get here and my gosh is it painful, but if he stands a chance then this is it... rock bottom or bust. It is such a cruel disease as it alters their minds so badly they truly cannot see it anything other than the fault of others Much love to you all xx

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