Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by VMac123


30 posts in 7 threads

drink and gamberling partner: dont know what to do. by

I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this. I also live with an addict who gambles and drinks. It is hard. I would say use these forums to build awareness of how to approach this - your situation seems more volatile than mine. I can’t tell you what to do because that’s not what this forum is for but I can offer to be a listening ear... In my case, I’ve told myself that mine has got until the end of August to show me change. If he can’t, then I’m going to ask him to leave because I’ve had 4 years of paying bills, being the sole responsible adult in the house and him lying etc. I can not commit to another 4. You need to do what is best for you.

1 of 2 posts

Payday hit? by

I’m starting to dread most days. Today, his car broke so he borrowed mine as I’m working from home. Fine. He then stopped after work to get a drink then drove my car. Not fine. He finally admitted it because I clocked it straight away. I know all the websites say to detach and try to control your reaction because you can’t control their addiction but today I just can’t stop myself feeling so mad! I don’t want to talk to him or be in the same room. I love him but I don’t know how much longer this can go on. He’ll be full of apologies tomorrow but they’re just words. He will do it again. I feel like I’m just trapped in this endless cycle

alcoholic father by

Dexter2015 is right. These forums are all we have at the moment to escape for a while. I really do think taking your focus off the other person’s problem and focusing on yourself helps. Does worrying, hunting for bottles, asking them to stop etc help you or them? I don’t find that it did for me - it made my fiancé ratty and me anxious and miserable. I’ve quit looking for it and I’m focusing on myself - exercising, reading, chatting to friends etc. Look up self esteem building and do some work on you. I find a short 5 minute meditation in the morning has helped me to stay focused: I’m trying the one described in this video I’ve not been doing this long but in the week I have, I’ve not been so focused on analysing my fiancé (I’ve looked in his usual hiding place once in a week - I used to do it every day -twice) and I’ve felt better. It’s going to take me a long time but I’m determined to make myself happier with who I am. Then if I have to leave, I will have the strength to do it. I hope you manage to find a little piece of yourself to keep you going.

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