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Posts by cally1001


24 posts in 6 threads

Cocaine husband I need some advice :-( by

Hi Everyone I haven’t been on the site for nearly 2 years but got a notification via email so thought I would reply and let you all know the outcome. It’s not pretty I am afraid!! My advice is run and run away as fast as you can and do not look back. I am living proof that no matter what you do they will not change or stop it’s impossible (Maybe a few stories you may hear of people recovering but very few!) I have just come out in the other side after 2 years, my story got so much worse and the things I found out he had done etc I won’t go into them as I know how your feeling now and it won’t help. I am divorced now aswell. There was nothing absolutely nothing I could have done, I may as well have smashed my head into a brick wall and got better sense. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome, that’s the world your living in now, sorry to be blunt. They will always see you as the problem so it really doesn’t matter what you do so my advice and really take what I am saying is run, save so much pain and headache and look after yourself and your families. I lost 4 stone, nearly lost my mind, blamed myself, I have lived a total living hell. Please don’t do the same. I have realised that I was as addicted to him as he was to drugs and I was so codependent. I can honestly say my life is so much better now, I left a great career and bought a little cafe, I am single but learning to love me and be on my own as I am not ready to be with anyone. That’s another piece of advice don’t rush into any relationships if you do leave, whatever hurt your feeling you will take to the next. I really wish you all well and it breaks my heart to hear your stories. By the way my ex is “apparently” clean now living with a woman who has funded a new business😄 things don’t change they just move to another person. I wish you all the luck in the world.xx

How to deal with family situation by

Hi Winnie So sorry to hear your story. So similar to mine, we didn’t have kids thank god so I don’t know how you cope. Not going into any details as it’s all been said before if you read my messages but my ONLY advice is to run, run as far away as you can. People may say that’s not right and you should make your own decisions etc but believe me from the heart the coke has won. My divorce came through in June and I am so happy as I have no financial ties now; the man has spent in total 58k since December I kid you not I had a wonderful caring kind husband but when it got to the point he was on the couch and his nose literally coming out in a tissue and he thought I was the devil in his psychosis I realised he was gone. I don’t like to talk too much on here as it’s hard when you are going through things but if you want I can send my number and we can have a chat. It’s a very cruel drug and I would not wish it on my enemy. It gets better but it takes time a long time somprepare yourself I won’t sugar coat it.xx

by lc100

1 of 3 posts

Husbands addiction by

Hi Same happened to me as all your stories, that drug really is the devil! I will be divorced in 3 weeks, we were together 13 and married 3. Funny thing is I had no idea until he could not hide it anymore, we had a great life god jobs etc. I have since found out he did it all along and about 2.5 years ago that’s when it took hold properly. Fast forward and what I have found out; Thousands gone Lost jobs Not coming home Escorts The lies The deceit The man I loved changing into a monster Left in December was with a 20 year old 2 weeks later (he 42) and asking her to marry him???? Now with some old one with 2 kids The list goes on. I was lucky I didn’t have kids, I separated all finances so his debt is NOT my debt. I hate to say it but there are not many success stories, for your own life I would say leave!! I lost over 3 stone, hair fell out and I thought I could never cope without him as I was so co-dependent. But guess what, 6 hard difficult months later I feel so much better. I wake up and go to sleep with no stress, my life is my own, that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach has gone, it’s wonderful. There is light at the end of the tunnel but you have to make the decision to detach and leave or if you don’t it will carry on and on and on. I wish everyone well.xx


1 of 7 posts

Struggling by

Excellent you are saving money, no matter how big or small it may be! It really does help writing things down. We should get together and do a book that goes to schools on why you should not take drugs it would be a bestseller???? I have always prided myself in being strong and independent and I am pissed off that I let This take over my life. We are all worth more and we need to be strong! This site is really good for us as we know we are not alone.xxxx


9 of 58 posts

Using cocaine in the house. by

Hi Thanks for reply. I have done all those things you suggest that is why i am so stuck in limbo. He has said he will remember the good times and only the best of me (that was said on a clean day) and i truly believe him. For how he treated me before all this its like chalk and cheese as i was his world. When i did see him high that was the end i suppose as he never wanted me to see that and he knew before me that it was over. I was the one begging him to come back, get help etc but he just said you will never forget it and the arguments make me look for an excuse to take more. Logically i know all this and i know it is true and i know he loves me, but the emotional part of me and my heart is just so terribly hurt and i cant see past the drugs only that my husband has left me, and i just think i could have done more (i dont know what more i could have done so i should keep thinking that, he just didnt want to stop) I am just so lost and emotional and up and down which i know everyone on here is so its good to talk to people in the same boat. I just think he knew it would not change and even if he does get better the embarrassment is too much for him as friends and family all know, i wish i had never said anything to anyone but at the time i was in shock and there is no handbook how to react. I wish i had of reacted differently when i found out but whats the point in thinking what if etc its not going to change anything. That he can just walk away like a coward and not try is what is making it hard to accept as i wanted to help but he didnt want it or was not ready for it. xx

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