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Posts by careaboutyou

joined

5 posts in 4 threads

Seeking desperate help by

Hi SomeBloke, yes I did wonder whether it was an old post. I'm just doing this because when I was in your situation....there was no support. Al-anon were useless. Please muster up the courage to leave. I also understand the shame that you may feel and that you may worry that people are thinking that you are guilty by association. To be honest, it's obvious who is the capable Parent and who isn't. Please make plans to leave. The Addict will hang on to you ( under the guise of calling it Love ), this is not Love, it's suffocation. Unfortunately if you stay, your Son will also get sucked into this and feel that he has to hide it from everyone, etc, etc and won't be living a free life. I saw this with teenagers with Parents with an alcohol or drug addiction in the Priory ( my husband was in there, more than once, it didn't work ). I thought....I'm not letting that happen to my Son....!! You must get away for both of your sakes. x

2 of 6 posts

I guess I’m moving out by

Hi Daniela, I was married to an alcoholic who eventually died. I had to escape with my son to save myself and my child. It sounds like you don't have children, which is good. My advice to you is.....it will never change. You sound young. Please don't waste any more of your time on him and cut all ties. Only he can help himself, nothing that you do will make any difference. You have to think of yourself, save yourself and leave. Don't let him around your new place, don't tell him the address, he will only come around and try to get you to help him in a collapsed state. My late husband also turned up threatening to kill himself, my son was hiding under a table. Don't let him come around. Routing for you!! Leave!!!x

1 of 5 posts

Need Advice Please by

Dear cf1980, I'm so sorry for you...unfortunately I absolutely understand your situation. My husband was an alcoholic and we were together for 5 years. I have a son, who was 4 when we eventually had to leave. My husband died of alcohol poisoning in 2012. Anyhow, it's about you right now and your situation. My advice would be that however much you love him, you must know that this must be making you ill, possibly killing you?! I eventually had to leave the family home with my son because as much as I loved my husband... this is alcoholism. The condition gets progressively worse and all the focus will be on him, but you are a victim in this....If you have the financial means ( you don't mention children ), then make plans to leave him, get out of the relationship, move. There is a great deal of pity out there for the Addicts, but I understand the anger that you must be carrying right now. It has affected me for years and society is not recognising that Addicts destroy people around them as well. My concern is for you... the hardworking person, paying all the bills, carrying the load! Addicts are essentially selfish, wreckless people. He is with you because you are strong. I used to describe it as ' I feel like I'm wearing a lead overcoat and he is dragging me down, drowning me. I have to be healthy and sane for my son. If I don't take it off.........I'll go down with him!! You sound like a normal, decent person. YOU deserve better! I'm afraid that he won't change. You are strong enough to get out of this. Wishing the best for you.x

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