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Posts by fayzey

joined

59 posts in 21 threads

Husband is a secret coke head by

His ssw, totally get what you mean and I couldn’t just forget it all in the end and this time it only went on for 2 months so I can imagine after 3 years it would be very difficult. My problem is that, even if he stopped (which he did say he had) I then didn’t trust him at all due to all the lies and he wasn’t willing to talk about it and felt like I was attaching him - I think if he’d had a bit more appreciation of the impact on me it would have been different…. It does sound like your partner really crossed the line with the things he said and did - do you think he’s genuinely remorseful now?? If he goes to CA or NA then that’s nothing to do with social services. It’s not automatic anyway but agree I would think it’s a risk if you go to the GP depending on what they are like and what’s said. Having said that my partner’s GP knows all about it and nothing’s been said. He probably thinks he doesn’t need any help as maybe he’s not tried to give up before but that’s what my partner thought too but eventually after a life of relapses I’m hoping he finally realises he does. Xx

by Ssw

2 of 7 posts

30 weeks pregnant and dealing with an addict by

Hi Ctip, so sorry you are having to deal with this while pregnant, I hope you are managing to look after yourself in all this and not stress too much (easier said than done I know). The same happened to me - our son’s 3.5 now. It’s such a shame that the addiction takes over when you can see how much they want that family life and have so much love to give. Mine is an amazing dad when he can stay off the drink and drugs. I’m glad you have a supportive family. Mine slept all the way through my labour as he’d been on the drugs and kept asking the midwives how long it was going to go on for! They got so annoyed with him at one point they almost threw him out. He then pressurised me to go home with the baby before I was ready as he couldn’t deal with being at the hospital - so, make sure you have another person there to actually support you just in case would be my advice. We’ve had amazing times like you’ve said - perfect and lovely family life, and terrible times (binges, he got sectioned, vanishing for days) since then. I’m now insisting he gets professional help and does the recovery ‘steps’ at NA before he can come back after the latest relapse but I feel terrible as him and our son have such a strong bond. I’m here if you need to chat about things - it’s such a hard situation, especially with the pregnancy hormones thrown in I found! xx

by Ctip30

1 of 3 posts

My husband is a crack addict by

Hi there, hope you’re doing ok, felt like I should comment as I also think my partner was smoking crack in the garage or at least occasionally, normally just coke and drinking. I made the decision he had to go as the trust was gone, it’s early days so who knows what will happen we’re just taking it day by day, but I would say that if something bad is going to happen to your partner it is going to happen whether you are there or not. It sounds like you have been very understanding so far but make sure you are looking after yourself in all this - it’s no fun being around someone when they’re doing that, I found just being in the same house as him totally draining x

1 of 2 posts

Will I ever trust him? by

Hi Bellapop, really good to hear from you and glad things are a bit more settled for you. Mine would also have times when he seemed tired/ill/low and he will never say how he’s feeling so it’s a guessing game isn’t it as to what’s causing it - does yours open up about how he’s feeling at all? Do you think he could be depressed? I am at a point now where the slightest sign like that and I would assume he’s used but i’m hoping I can get some trust back at some point….All I’m getting at the moment is he’s ‘feeling fine’ which I find hard to believe after a week of smoking crack non stop, I get a 2 day hangover after a few glasses of wine so can only imagine how I’d feel after that lol. He’s still not home, I just can’t do it, I feel too anxious thinking about it, but he does seem like the real him is back for the first time in months and i’m taking him to a NA meeting this morning so small positive signs….. xxxx

26 of 87 posts

Boyfriend addicted to cocaine by

Hi Ambaj, really sorry to hear you are going through this - it’s so awful watching someone you love do this to themselves. It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend thinks he has a problem yet which would be the first step to getting himself sorted. I would read some of the other posts on here and that will give you some insight into how it generally goes having a relationship with an addict which isn’t positive unfortunately. Having said that some do get themselves clean and recover, I know a few that have and now happy, but only once they admit they have a problem with it and make some real effort to stop - it’s not easy at all. You need to protect yourself in the meantime. I would suggest he calls cocaine anonymous and gets some help. And set some boundaries - if he wants to do it he should go somewhere else maybe so it’s not around you and your family. You say his marriage has broken down and I wonder if that was to do with drugs? And on the stress point - coke makes you extremely anxious and paranoid and like you’re a terrible person, so it’s a vicious circle of then having to do more to block that horrible niggling feeling out temporarily, only for it to come back worse than ever. Take care of yourself xx

by Sew26

1 of 4 posts

6 year addiction I just need to talk by

Hey Red, really sorry to hear your story and sorry for the loss of your mum. Asking for help is a big step so we’ll done. I don’t really know if it is your ex that is buying the drugs but that is ridiculous and you need to cut that person out of your life even if only temporarily. Have you tried Cocaine Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous? They have meetings all round the country and lots of people say they are really helpful. Good luck and no need to apologise for posting! X

1 of 3 posts

Thought things had changed. by

Yes we definitely do! It’s horrible when they’re out and you don’t know what they’re doing or when/if they’ll come back. Mine used to do that and vanish - he went for a bike ride in lockdown an never came back for days I thought he’d been run over! Go to the shop and not come back etc, Think he’s staying in now cos he knows if he does that I’ll be changing the locks. They normally come back when they run out of money/drugs or want a nice place to stay I think. Do you show him the texts when he’s back to normal? Well he’s having a lovely sleep downstairs, alright for some. I’ve helped time and time again like you and I’d probably do it again if he’d stop lying and get some help but not going to happen! So frustrating cos when he’s clean it’s great but I guess that’s how it should be all the time…Thing is we’ve got kids to look after and it’s like having another child but much worse! My friends think I’m mad. Here’s hoping for a good week for both of us next week xx

3 of 9 posts

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