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Posts by georgia26

joined

138 posts in 61 threads

Happening again by

yes they work - they are the ones the police use. I know it seems a bit much but honestly its worth it, if you have a suspicion test them. Oh god, honestly you sound like me.. its as though i am writing - as soon as my BF went out i went into panic mode, would call after 10 mins if he didnt answer i would have meltdown. It really affected me mentally, my anxiety was just awful.. google addiction counselling, hopefully someone can help your OH.

by Joemily

2 of 33 posts

Lapsed again on coke :( by

well, anything that would cause him hassle she does it. He paid 40,000 court fees to fight to see his kids, she wouldnt let him, she even got the kid to call the police and say hes abusing them - now hes taken a step back and sees them like once a week shes saying you can have the kid full time - its basically anythign that may cause a problem, she will do it, cos she knows it would cause problems for us as a couple, because i dont have kids - so having a kid full time at 26 would be a problem. Its all a game to her.. its doing my head in. She causes us so many problems honestly, she is insane, bipolar diagnosed so we get this every couple of months - it really gets him down, his kid worships the mother as well.. mental ok Dan thanks for the advice, he does feel like shit he feels like hes failed again but i was angry then i said look dw we will get through it - youve just gone off track get back on track, bless him.. i do feel sad for him, must be bloody hard. im 26 im worrying my eggs are drying up haha - i will need to have kids soon, but feel like theres so many risks involved, i get worried xx

How to help a coke addict? by

Honestly, you cant help or do anything, he must want to do it, until he wants to he absolutely wont change. I was in your position as well - its the worst thing ever isnt it, being angry, distance, nice - none of it works, the cocaine will come first, the thing is you need to do is not blame yourself and dont think youre not good enough because its not that at all. Until he is serious about quitting, even him saying "hes open" to getting help, personally seems like he isnt 100% in it. I think that this will go on for some time, until he hits rock bottom and then he will put his hands up and beg for help, because thats what needs to happen. The counselling/CA groups etc wont work, if hes not 100% invested. He needs to stop drinking completely, as thats a huge trigger. I went through this for months on end with my OH - it broke me down, until i felt mentally ill myself, i blamed myself for not being good enough. honestly just dont be naive about it, its a disease after all and sometimes incurable (which sounds scary as hell) but apparently its incurable and just "managed" ive read so much up on it. my OH does addiction counselling now which focuses on anxiety/addiciton - it is helping. my true advice - if youve only just met, and you have no ties and hes not willing to invest in this - honestly walk away, i wish i had. This will go on and on and it spirals out of control, you end up losing everything (and actually the person changes completely) as thats number 1, before kids, work, YOU. Seriously, it sounds negative - but read some threads on here - people not willing to stop and sort of want to, dont, it gets out of control and they get into debt and marriages break down. youve absolutely come to the right place though - as we can all support you. be strong - put yourself first <3 read up online, watch some YouTube stuff. Dont let his addiction consume your life though , because it will.. xxx Good luck

2 of 9 posts

Feeling so alone by

Hey I was in your position, its the worst thing ever.. youre not alone and i do feel for you. How long have you been together? Until he admits his problems to everyone who cares about him and seeks proper support from the doctor, the cycle will continue. He will relapse, do drugs, promise he will change/have mental health problems/cry and then relapse, this happened to me for months and months. My bf was self medicating his anxiety after a horrendous divorce. I wont go into it too much, but you really sound so naive about the situation - drinking is a trigger, its all linked. It doesnt matter how much he is doing, if hes doing 1 gram or 5 grams, hes an addict. He will REALLY want to stop and he will be ashamed, but the urge and the addiction will be too much. It took me months and months to understand and thank god i found this group as it helped me so much. Sounds bad, but he will need to hit rock bottom, something needs to happen to make him realise, him hiding it from you and his family isnt good.. I wish i had some positive advice for you, but until he admits his addiction to you this will continue.. he needs to really really want it, addiction is a disease and its so hard for someone to understand that isnt an addict. I used to get so frustrated and used to shout and scream at his but that will only make it worse and will give him an excuse to use. what you must understand is that addiction cant just be cured overnight, its a hard battle and it tears relationships apart, its heartbreaking.. but ultimatums etc, he will choose the cocaine. You need to ensure youre protecting yourself - keep yourself mentally strong and dont let this take over your life. my partner hasnt relapsed in 6 months.. he does addiction counselling, once a week, its £60 but its brilliant - it isnt a magical cure though, the person needs to WANT to give up.. or it will not work. he needs to go to the doctor and beg for help, but obviously if you arent even speaking about it then its a long road ahead, and what you need to this is, is this worth it? as it will just continue, and its mentally draining.. it made me ill but we have ties so i couldnt just leave. xx

by

1 of 17 posts

Pregnancy by

You absolutely need to tell the hospital what youve done - as they may be able to do something for you. If youre having a child and youve done cocaine whilst carrying I worry about the baby really, I am not being judgemental but i dont get what must have been going through your head... what will you be like when the child actually gets here.. Not going to say too much as i dont want to make you feel bad but in my books thats an absolute no go, addict or not, harm yourself but a child - just no, seek help URGENTLY

Partner of 1 year is an alcoholic by

a year is no time at all, these should be happy times. if i am being completely honest, i would run a mile, it isnt worth it at all - he will continue to relapse, nothing you say or do will stop him, people have kids, homes, jobs and it doesnt stop, i put it all on the line and it dont work at all it actually does the opposite - 15 years of addiction wont be cured by falling in love, i made that mistake, its hell.. if youve got no ties, no house, no kids, then move on. i hope you take this the right way - you wont cope, youll end up mentally drained yourself. he cant help it though, it is a disease, incurable most of the time. I wish i could give you a more positive answer - but honestly, read through some of these threads, its heartbreaking to accept but you have to think of yourself. He wil relapse whether youre there supporting him or not there at all... and thats the truth

1 of 4 posts