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Posts by georgia26


199 posts in 72 threads

Boyfriend with cocaine addiction by

Hi Kindredcoyote i think youd benefit from speaking to a counsellor that specialises in this - I did and it helped me understand. The thing is, when they tell you they want to stop and make promises they do mean it at the time, but the addiction takes over.. again and again and again. If i am completely honest, I wouldn't start a family with someone with a cocaine addiction as this is an awful vicious cycle that will continue to repeat itself and when kids are in the middle its awful, they will end up hurting too, like you are now. if he doesn't physically go and get help I would walk away as nothing will change, you'll drive yourself insane.. you will end up ill, like many of us on here. Cocaine comes first, its their safety blanket, threatening giving ultimatums doesn't work - believe me i have tried. Its hard to accept and understand but its the sad truth, once it really gets them and they dont even really want to stop you cannot do anything accept sit and watch them self destruct and get left with absolutely nothing or walk away and you will find happiness. J Betty is right - its a disease, most of the time incurable - well they say its incurable and it can only be 'managed' but not sure on that really, but i do know it takes a hell of a lot to stop, and by the sounds of it your partner is in deep. Literally if he isn't willing to go beg his GP for help or whatever you cant do nothing - its horrible to accept but that will come first, no matter what. Lots of people on here have made the choice to walk away, i would say read through some threads as i found them so helpful, it makes you realise how bad this really can get. HE needs to want to stop you wanting him to will never work. I wish you well.. you deserve happiness. xx

At My Wits End by

Hi Mrslight77, Firstly its not that you're not enough for him, you must not blame yourself as its not you.. I felt this way once, until I realised that actually its not me, they are sick they have a disease and by the sounds of it, your husband is seriously in deep. I think he needs to go to the doctors and needs to beg for help, he needs to go into a rehab unit or it will kill him. you must put yourself first and realise that with addiction, it comes first, no matter what you do or say it grabs them back in - until he admits and seeks help you cannot do anything - my advice would be PUT YOURSELF FIRST.. Your well being and own mental health needs to come first - and your childs of course.. my partner was drinking and drug taking and it killed me inside as i blamed myself for a long time, it makes you feel lonely and confused doesnt it.. I wish i had an answer for you but i do know that its not your fault, its a serious disease which changes the person you once fell in love with. He wont be doing this to hurt you but sadly it tears relationships apart. He needs rehab, its honestly the only way xx


1 of 4 posts

I don't know what to do anymore by

Jess, you absolutely need to walk away from this. His addiciton seems to be out of control and there is nothing you can do to help him, if he doesnt want to help himself there is nothing you can do he honestly wont change, addiction is a disease and incurable most of the time. You must put yourself first - he wont change. Alcohol and drug addiction completely changes the person you once fell in love with and its so hard to accept. Life is way too short to be mentally drained by this, you deserve to live a happy life too and if his anger is out of control and hes being sexually aggressive you must walk. I think youll end up going round in circles. I wish you well my love - keep us posted x

by Jess83

1 of 6 posts

My boyfriend is addicted to cocain and I have no one to talk to by

Hi Bella I was in the same position as you, a year in, thought it was recreational use but I was naive and very very wrong. You will slowly realise that no matter what you say or do, if he doesnt admit the problem and seek professional help (and he needs to really want it) then nothing will change. Addiction is so confusing to a non addict, i went through shouting/screaming/cryin g/threatening and it DOESNT work as cocaine is number 1.. and it sounds like I am being harsh but honestly, addiction is the most confusing thing i have ever come across. He will lie and manipulate - i personally based on my own experience would absolutely run a mile while you can. I literally ended up mentally drained from it, you honestly cant help him HE MUST help himself... its really tough to accept, as you want to believe more than anything theyll change but if hes in denial and even his family arent aware I cant see it getting better anytime soon - his family need to know. As for the CA meetings, they didnt help my partner - they actually seemed to make him worse - but thats just my experience How much is he doing per day? do you have kids etc? Youve come to the right place, i would suggest you read through some threads.. as lots of us have been in your shoes and can give honest advice xx

by Eo228

1 of 13 posts

Lapsed after 2 month without coke :( by

since he started his addiction/anxiety counselling on the 4th Jan, he hasn't relapsed since. This has been the longest hes gone without turning to drink/drugs. I need to work on trusting him again, but it is hard when it was a continuous thing and ive been hurt a lot from it - when he goes out where people will be drinking or taking drugs it sends me into panic mode. Apparently his counsellor said in future he may be able to go back to social drinking but i dont agree, the thought makes me nervous - what are your thoughts? he was self medicating through drinking/drugs when he had an anxiety episode. I dont know if it would be wise, it must be hard that he cant ever drink again - the main reason being it makes him seriously mentally ill the days after - even suicidal.. drink and drugs are just poison to the brain, i know this now. We go on holiday in 3 weeks, so thats going to be awkward.. no drinking, its weird, i feel like i cant drink - i dont mind, i would rather not if it helps him but its frustrating. he completely removed all connections with that type of thing, any friends etc that were influencing it they are gone. How are you Dan? strange that youre having these dreams - i feel like you dream about what you're fearful of sometimes, its definitely true.. I think youre going to be ok, main thing is, avoid drinking - i think it lets barriers down and you go into the 'dont give a shit mode'. are you still reading? do you have any recommendations? i am looking for some books to take away.

by Danman83

2 of 45 posts

Fiancé addicted to cocaine by

I see - does he use in the week? its like the person you marry dies, its hard to accept. I dont get how the stuff makes people like that?! it confuses the hell out of me. Its scary. My partner is SO selfish when he does it, nothing and no one comes before. Its devastating for the person having to deal with the backlash. I have been in tears breaking my heart and hes gone out and done it 2 minutes after saying sorry. Hope youre ok anyway and things are looking a bit better. £150 worth i think is about 2 grams i dont know? still a lot, i guess it doesnt matter how much even if its a line its an addiction - he needs to stop and seek help. The meetings didnt work for my other half they actually made him worse i think, cos when he left the meetings he would disappear. I will never understand really what it does to the human body but it is fucking awful!! evil stuff... xxx

by BigT

4 of 12 posts

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