Talk about your experiences with others.

Posts by lc100

joined

14 posts in 4 threads

Hello, I’m new by

So sorry to hear about your situation. As Hox said, cocaine is a real relationship breaker, it completely changes people. Hard as it is, you need to focus on you and ensure that you are putting yourself first. By no means am I saying you shouldn't support him (specially if he is taking steps to deal with the issue) but don't let it be at the expense of yourself or your child. I have found through all of this that sometimes you too need to be selfish and put yourself first as they have done. It's so difficult where kids are involved too, I have 2 with my ex, and he has just this weekend suggested they "have a break" from each other even though it's apparently not what he wants. He's not prepared to admit he has a problem, so I'm lost as to what I can do to help him and them continue or rebuild any sort of relationship. If he doesn't have a problem, he's just an arsehole!! I'm just focusing on me and my kids right now and hope you can do the same. This forum has really helped though and hopefully will help you through the tougher times x

by

1 of 4 posts

Husband chasing cocaine lifestyle? by

Snapchat is the only social media we've never had each other on, I've never really gotten into it and he'd have easily been able to hide it from me on there anyway. Just makes me sick that one minute he's posting snaps of him doing lines in an open bar on holiday and the next week he's posting snaps at the cinema with his kids!? Not sure what image it is he's trying to portray, it's like glamourising his party lifestyle then trying to be dad of the year!!? He is so incredibly selfish and just such a nasty person right now. Tells me I'm filling the kids head with rubbish and then tells them that if he came back mummy and daddy would just argue all the time, which we didn't often so I don't know why he'd say it. Just struggling to get my head round it all. He's a completely different person, and not a very nice one and him blaming me for our kids anger towards him really gets me. This helps though! Glad I've found support somewhere!

by Rani123

8 of 15 posts

How to deal with family situation by

So sorry to read what you and your children are going through. My husband (seperated) has a cocaine problem, I don't feel like it's quite at the stage your husbands is, but I can certainly relate to losing the person you fell in love with and having them replaced by a selfish zombie that only seems to care about themself. My husband cannot see that he has a problem, and I think that in itself will only make the problem worse, I confronted him on it a few days ago for him to pull a face as if I had grown an extra head although he didn't actually deny it. I didn't really get a choice in how to deal with my situation, my husband chose to leave as he wasn't happy though he has never been able to tell me why he wasn't happy. Prior to him leaving I'd been aware that on a handful of occasions over the space of a couple of years he'd taken coke, whenever I confronted him he always played it down and it is only since the separation from other people that I am finding out how much more regular that was (it fits in with the fact a lot of our arguments centred round him going out "binge drinking" at times every weekend and never coming home after/being zombie like when he did). I thought he had depression at one point, though I suspect that was more likely a change in mood as an aftermath. I recently found out that he has started seeing someone else and I'm certain that she is far more accepting (if not also participating) of his habit. I don't think he left me for her, he left me to enable his lifestyle as I won't do that, specially with children involved. It's heart breaking seeing/worrying about the effect this will have on the kids having to grow up with this a part of their lives but all you can do is focus on you and them. Like I said, I didn't have a choice as such, but ultimately I would always have chosen what is best for my children and unfortunately right now it is not a life with their dad. It will get easier, stay strong, focus on you and your children and keep giving them the very best you can, ultimately you will be better off and happier and it will be true happiness and not a fake happiness from a toxic source xx

1 of 3 posts

Cocaine by

Same as that, my husband had very little going for him before we met. I helped him build a career, got us onto the property ladder and made a house a home and gave him 2 beautiful kids. He's never had to want for much since we've been together as I've always done everything for him!! I don't even think his family are aware of it. I don't have the greatest relationship with his mum as she has her own set of issues and has made a lot of choices I don't agree with. She's barely spoken to me since we seperated. Ultimately I don't think it matters right now, as regardless of what support he does or doesn't have, he doesn't think he has a problem in the first place. I suspect his new girl is using also or more accepting of it than I am, she's 22 and not at a point in her life where she has to think about how it impacts children etc. I'm sure it's just a bit of fun and not a problem to her. Absolutely agree though, the only thing he is ever going to truly love now is the cocaine, I think he's lost the capability to love anything or anyone else