Hi, I'm new here. My husband is an addict. We're no longer together but we have 3 children together. We've been separated for about 2 yrs now.
He uses crack cocaine, cocaine, cannabis, alcohol and he gambles.
At the moment hes got 10hrs a week supervised contact with the kids.
The whole situation is really stressful for everyone involved. The kids will happily go sometimes and sometimes they will refuse. A member of his family supervises but I don't really trust them. They have always underplayed his addictions and I'm so worried they'll leave him unsupervised with the kids.
In between contact times he shows no interest in the kids. He doesn't message or phone or play xbox online with them.
I really worry about the kids thinking their dads addiction is "normal" and will be more likely to try drugs themselves when they are older.
He still denies the extent of his addiction even though I've got drug tests to prove it. He said he would attend counselling but then failed to turn up to his appointments. He's made no effort to get better. He's still in "Pre-contemplation".
For the kids sake I think it would be better to stop contact. At least until he makes a change to get help. But I'm terrified that if I stop contact that he will spiral and possibly get much worse.
My questions are ; Has anyone taken full custody of your kids and stopped all contact? What happened?
Are there any children of addicts that can give their own perspective on what to do?