Cath,
What a lovely story of commitment and love in the most difficult of times. Sounds like this man doesn’t want to hurt you and recognises that he can’t not hurt you. he wants you but he doesn’t want to hurt you, so he hurts you by not seeing you. An addicts life is a mess and anti lit’s sorted out so will yours be.
Agree boundaries (? only texting/writing/messaging) whilst you seek medical/social/emotional support for yourself and he goes to rehab.
If you love him best thing you can do is look after yourself, give him some distance and wait. If you can.
Expect to be hurt, disappointed, confused and upset and an emotional basket case for a while – this is horrendous for you. However you are strong enough to seek help here and elsewhere so remember – you are not weak you are WORRIED and strong. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t hurt.
Give him time – Rehab for him and support for you and your future could be very different. But if he won’t rehab then walk away and save yourself my dear.
Look at the teenchallenge support – it has the highest success rates of any rehab programme. XX