It is an illness but it is treatable and only he can take those steps to get treatment. I often wondered why my husband wouldn’t just get on and get it sorted but I suppose when drugs and alcohol have such a massive effect on their lives it’s didficult. It means they have to walk away from all their ‘friends’ and change their whole lifestyle.
The only advise I can give is do not let him blame you. It’s completely manipulative and his way of trying to get you to stop ‘nagging’ I’m sure.
In the end I just said to mine- if you want to carry on doing what you’re doing then fine but eventually I will become sick of it and I will walk away. I made it clear that the only person that would be responsible for that was him, I couldn’t say when enough would be enough but the day would certainly come. I stopped talking to him about it and carried on my life with my children and the rest of my family and basically paid no attention to his drug use or drinking. I wonder if when he had to stop trying to justify it to me, he could no longer justify it to himself.
It wasn’t easy, I certainly fell into a dark hole because not addressing it to him meant I didn’t talk about it to anybody and that shit really eats you up inside.
Unfortunately I’m still in that black hole but some days are better than others. I did eventually speak to my GP and got signed off work for 4 weeks which helped a little.
You do have to be selfish and it is bloody hard but just do you and don’t let him put any of the blame on you. Of course you’re depressed, you’re putting up with a lot xx