I too just signed up to this forum after reading your post. I have been struggling for a while picking up the pieces of my Dad’s alcoholism. I live in a different area to him and have been travelling back and forth to help, visit him in hospital etc. I just feel he is beyond help now and he lost his job in the past year too.
He was widowed from my Mum when we were kids then met a woman who was a heavy drinker/ I suspect alcoholic then. I went off to uni over 10 years ago and ever since I think his drinking has got heavier and heavier with an on and off toxic relationship with this woman. 3 times he has been in hospital this year, been detoxed then got out and drank again. His excuse for drinking now is worry for his partner of the toxic relationship who also ended up in hospital recently. I have tried everything to help… Shouting, stern, nice approach, understanding etc, but he just won’t stop. He says he goes councilling but I don’t believe him as he sounds slurry on the phone and then tries to blame his medication. He forgets things and now him and his partner that led him down the path of drink are planning on getting married. I said I would attend for him, if he stopped drinking. I am the only family member who still keeps contact afterall and worries that if I said no it would drive him further into a manic alcoholic state. But even still now he is drunk again, so I told him straight I don’t want to go the wedding and he said don’t come then and hung up the phone. I feel sick in the pit of my stomach as I remember him when he was “Dad” and now it is just sad to see this alcoholic he has turned into and it breaks my heart. I want to cut contact as it is making me ill with stress and unable to sleep but I just can’t bring myself to do it. So guess I have joined this forum to read other peoples stories and hopefully find answers. He drinks the hard whisky stuff, sneaks off to shops at all hours and doesn’t eat properly. He is slowly killing himself. But I feel he is beyond help.