Hi again. I am one of them that cannot totally emotionally detach myself from them. I have spent the past two days going through here reading and replying to some which in a way has took my mind off things. It is hard to open up to people incase you and your family get judged. It’s ok for me to not like my sons a lot of the time but I do not want other people to not like them. As it is not them I dislike it’s their habits and seeing how they are destroying themselves. At least I do get some normal days with my boys as it is not always a daily thing. Well at the moment it is with my son who’s still living at home. There is something not right as he’s only had two mornings off the drugs. Although he does work hard it’s awful seeing him waste his money to the dealers. And yes it’s good to talk but at the end of the day the problem is still there. There is no help if they do not want to help themselves so unfortunately for people like us we have to suffer. In the past I have lost two good friends to drugs and drink and this is my biggest fear. This is why I try to help them as much as I can as if I didn’t and anything did happen to them then I would never be able to live with the guilt that I was not there for them. We all have different coping strategies, sometimes I can cope other times I can’t and I have a melt down. It’s draining it takes over your life and it’s bloody awful. They are very clever when it comes to the emotional blackmail. It’s our fault, blah blah. I explode with anger seeing them destroy themselves then I calm down the next day. It’s lovely to see them normal. The boys I nurtured and love. It’s heartbreaking seeing them off their nuts. Well I am sure you feel the same. What can we do? Nothing. Mine don’t think they have a problem, they are not addicted?? Even though they do not do it daily in my eyes they are still addicts. Hope I am making sense to you and that you have a better day today than yesterday xx
