Hi Button Boy,
I am so sorry to read your post and to see how your son’s addiction has made you feel. Its really hard to understand isn’t it, but you won’t have done anything wrong.
I’m glad that Paula has found speaking with us at The Icarus Trust has been useful. If you think it would help you please get in touch. We are a charity with trained people who you can talk with as they have lots of experience of supporting people who are affected by a family member’s addiction.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
In hope that you can get some support and not feel so alone in this. Good luck!