Hello Marion. We all deal with things in different ways. I worry daily but also give myself time too. My youngest 26 similar ways to your son. By the way sorry for your loss of your brother. I had to throw my son out as he was violent. I have written posts elsewhere so won’t repeat myself. Take time to read other posts as it helped me.,I was lucky as he had friends and family to sofa surf till he was homed by the council. His aggressive behaviour is always there but things are getting easier as he’s not been living at home for 11/2 years. He can not afford to do the drugs as much now he has his independence although he has stated he’s never going to stop. He also has ADHD and unfortunately that comes with lots of different traits that most people will never understand. I speak with psychiatrist when I go to his appointments and it’s normal for mental illness to self medicate. Don’t get me wrong I don’t condone it in any way but I am also powerless to stop it too. I have another son who self medicates but only last week I gave him an ultimatum “you either stop doing it in my home or you are out like your brother”. He is the weaker of the two and works very hard. I accepted that he was not going to stop but his was more recreational. He also suffers from mental illness. He has been taking ketamine for months now on a daily basis and it’s been destroying me and himself.,It reflected on his last wages and for the past week or so he has not been taking it. Wether he is seeing sense knowing that my actions speak louder than words. Although the substitute of weed seems to be wangling it’s way in. There’s just no stopping it. So yes every day is a battle, and yes I do now take time out for myself I deserve it. As a caring parent I will worry every day as I always have done,but I have learnt over the years all the hard work I put in as a parent is the best that I could do. I will never give up trying to help them but they also need to want to stop and my two don’t want to. I don’t know if that was any help for you. Feel free to message back. I am here if you need to off load x
