Hi,
Thank you for posting your story. I do sympathise with what you are going through. It is not surprising that you feel your husband’s drinking has pulled you down emotionally as it is something very hard to live with.
I’m sad that you feel alone in this and wonder if you would like to talk with people who would understand. I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We support people who are going through what you are, dealing with the impact of a loved one’s addictive behaviour. We have trained and experienced people that you could talk with if you feel it would be helpful to you.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope this is useful. All the very best.