georgia26- when he started sleeping rough in my garage. My garage is a horrible filthy place, it has a leaky roof and he down the garden. To stay in there at night because he has nowhere else to go in minus degree weather showed me that no one would choose this life. I suppose it’s like looking at homeless people or prostitutes, you wouldn’t choose to do them things would you? So that shows how much of a pull the drug must have.
Although I still get upset at his behaviour, my brain still kids me that he doesn’t love me as if he did he would stop. But I know my real husband loved me to death, everyone says he idolised me, that’s the bit that makes it so hard.
He’s withdrawn from old friends now and associating with local young lads (idiots) (chavs) who probably only take coke recreationally. Although when he’s on a come down he will admit he only does that because it’s part of the drug circle, he’d never associate with them normally. He used to be a really respected man, he was a fireman.
I went mad when I caught him in the pub without his wedding ring and he’d told the barmaid she was attractive, I still don’t know what that was about as normally I have no trust issues at all. I don’t know if it’s becsuse the drug makes you horny although he says if that was the case wouldn’t he have said something more sexual than “ oh youre an attractive girl” or it was as he said he felt like shit and was after attention as he realises it’s only a matter of time before I leave him as I threaten it so often.
He’s moved away now to try and get clean, he’s going to NA meetings and attending church groups although he’s never been religious. I know what you mean though, how will you know that they are trying for themselves? I sometimes think he does it just so I don’t leave him then comes back and it happens again. This time I’ve told him it has to be long term as I’m not going through it again!