When he’s off it he tells me the truth, he says at the time you think selfishly and in his head it’s all about him. I think he sees me like a nag! When he’s using. Maybe other girls are a nice distraction from having to look at his behaviour.
He’s told me when straight that he loves me to bits and would be devastated if we finished. But on drugs you don’t care! He said it would (as you say) only sink in after he came off drugs what the hell has he done!
Plus I do believe that if he did cheat when he’s not using he would tell me if I asked him as believe it or not he is a lovely person. I never have in 17 years had reason to mistrust him, apart from now. I check his phone etc without me knowing and the only person he ever searches for is me. So god knows!