Hey, I’m sorry to hear what you been through. He hid it well. My other half didn’t have a clue either.
1). Do you want to be friends. If yes that it should not be an issue. Don’t lock him out of your life. You have to remember whatever people say this is a illness not everybody understands.
2)this is a tricky one because you never know. I have given up for times but have started again. But I do know people who have stoped. But to be honest know he is not living with you he will more than likely be doing coke more than he was before.
3). This is an easy one. All the nasty things he said to you are directly related to him doing coke. It makes you mean and nasty and uncaring. It’s like it makes your heart turn to stone.
4) the weed addiction does play some part but to be honest weed doesn’t change you like you have described.
I’ve been there where your husband is. I lost my family for about 1 year because I would be in a rage. I’d hate everyone. I was a horrible person. I’m still addicted to coke and back with my partner but know I’m not nasty to them as I know what it felt like to lose them. I’m grumpy and moody some times but I never loose myself like that again. It’s hard but if you want to be with him don’t argue with him about the drugs and don’t menetion them. Nothing works. He will only stop when he can