I completely agree! My boyfriend was sober for 7 and a half months and then randomly relapsed and said it was a one off and he went to meetings again and I was hopeful but still gutted. Since then he has relapsed every month and I’m finding it hard to cope.
The thought of I don’t understand why he won’t stop for me or think about me etc. in your position you and your children is hard but an addict will not think about that. He is right, the brain does trick you because it is an illness and its disgusting and makes my blood boil.
The fact that he did get sober is a good thing and it hopeful he can do it – that is what I’m holding on to right now and I’m only 22.
All we can do is be supportive which is SO hard because when I try to be supportive and be there I get pushed away because I’m being annoying or I need to stop going on because it doesn’t help but neither does ignoring it and brushing it under the carpet.
For him to ever stop, is because he needs to want to which is very hard to understand when we feel it should be so easy. 🙁